[twister744]

I feel separating from the rest of the world. No matter what there are certain things I can't seem to talk about and accept in my self. I have a lot of trouble trusting people. I feel like there is really only one person who really understands me. But even then well I just don't understand myself in a lot of ways. I can't get close to people. The person I am inside seems totally different than how I act. The world doesn't feel real and I feel numb. I see how other people interact with others. Interacting with people just confuses me. I just don't understand any of the customs and "rules" in the society I live in. It feels like watching a tv often. It just never comes naturally to me. But this makes me feel lonely. I feel disconnected.

[Rohag]

Hello, Twister744. This:

Originally Posted by twister744

I grew up taking many many medications for adhd. ...when a drug is used everyday while the brain is developing and that drug is adding dopamine to the system, of course it's going to screw up the chemicals in the brain once you are an adult and stop taking it. ...The nervous, compulsive habit I have. It's kinda like a tick. It was caused by the medication focalin. It is listed as a side effect...

and this:

Originally Posted by twister744

The world doesn't feel real and I feel numb. I see how other people interact with others. Interacting with people just confuses me. I just don't understand any of the customs and "rules" in the society I live in.

easily may be related. Has any counselor or therapist with whom you've spoken ever related the one to the other?

[Sadley]

I feel pretty much exactly the same way.

[birdslikearms]

I felt the same for many many many years. I still get that feeling often, but now I am able to keep fighting through it instead of giving in.

I can tell you that it feels awkward at first, when you get out there and I keep making mistakes. Remember these people we are seeing being "perfect at soicalizing" already went through this step of awkwardness, that is why they seem so good at it plus some people have this skill at birth. I think I will always be a little awkward, but the more I have been putting myself out there the easier it gets. I an taking it slow, I used to not even be able to post on message fourms without huge anxiety and checking my message 500 times, and often deleting it.

Is there anything in your life that could be causing you this anxiety?

Originally Posted by twister744

I feel separating from the rest of the world. No matter what there are certain things I can't seem to talk about and accept in my self. I have a lot of trouble trusting people. I feel like there is really only one person who really understands me. But even then well I just don't understand myself in a lot of ways. I can't get close to people. The person I am inside seems totally different than how I act. The world doesn't feel real and I feel numb. I see how other people interact with others. Interacting with people just confuses me. I just don't understand any of the customs and "rules" in the society I live in. It feels like watching a tv often. It just never comes naturally to me. But this makes me feel lonely. I feel disconnected.

Hey Twister744, I feel exactly the same - a detached observer. I don't know about you, but when I've tried to breach this barrier, I get socially clobbered by others and rejected. Now I don't try anymore.