people are awful!

Im not suicidal...im just sick of people and sad. My introversion has become even worse due to recent events in my life. I was diagnosed with bepression many years ago but i am no longer medicated by choice i dont like to take meds and i didnt like how they made me feel. I know this is a personal choice and sometimes they work well for others but im not one of them. Someone i recently was having somewhat of a relationship with has simply decided not to be friends with me anymore because i have drama with me...mind you this person at best is a borderline alcoholic that seems to be VERY afraid of any type of emotional intimacy with anyone. I guess i got what i deserved but i try and be open and honest with people and it always kicks me in the teeth. As this persons friend i started drinking again and for all practical purposes brought myself down on a lot of levels but i still cared for this person as i like to see the good in everyone...so know im back to intovert to the extreme..im home with my dog and i really dont care if life changes for me at all as at this point i dont think it will. maybe i just pick rotten friends and partners...and then i see only the good in them...either way this friend shutting me down and out has really left me feeling down and out when i just opened up to someone for the first time in years and felt there was a bond when apparently it was quite one sided....im just over it..im sad ...and i feel like nothing will change and im not sure that i care at all.

well for u to write about it is bc u care. if ur introversion gets in way and prevents u to have friends then i would advise u to seek a therapist. now, this person, if they are in fact bpd then u need to patient with them... if they are destructive u might be supportive but keep ur distance. tc

I dont know if she is bipolar or not...seems the not caring and the drinking problem...and i guess bipolar could explain it as she has a tendency to turn people on and off but never wanted a relationship with me. I have no idea for what reason but it certainly made me feel not good enough...especially in retrospect when alot of things had to be her way and my input was really never seriously considered. Ive kept my distance from her im just scared for getting a drunken phone call from her one night. Whenever she acts like this my friends tell me be careful crazy isnt done with you yet.

Another thought. Introversion is not "bad". If you like to read, find a book called "Quiet" by Susan Cain and read some of it. Extroversion is praised in our culture, but there are many good qualities associated with introversion. We just don't recognize them so much.
I contend that we don't choose the people we are attracted to. So don't kick yourself, just learn.

I agree with not choosing you are attracted too but it seems that any single women my age drink like fish. I dont like bars, dont care to socialize, yet the borderline and fill on alcoholics seem to find me. That being said i have no problems at all with someone who may drink socially etc etc but every night of the week or every weekend...i think thats too much ...I might try and find that book..might be inspiration to pack and charge my kindle. Sometimes i wish i wasnt so socially awkward and then other times i really dont care because i dont like to be social.

ugh today is rough...im away from home and my dog...I just saw two seconds of Clifford the Big Red Dog and broke into tears...I just need to get to a t and I cant do it until March...im sad and tired but cant sleep...just hiding away here til work tomorrow