abhorence

Hi. ive never posted in this thread before but was wondering where to post and this seemed the most logical. all i wanted to say is i hate myself so much i really want to run head first into a wall to knock myself out for good. my positive feeling over the weekend was very short lived. why do we endlessly have to dig ourselves out of this hole just to find as we re about to reach the top that we ve fallen back in again??

(((biiv))) I know how you feel, I've been on quite the rollercoaster lately. Just when you think things are going ok, then Bam, it's something else.
Hope things start to go better for you.

thanks complic8d. least your kitty makes me smile your doggie too but kitty motly. dont tell the doggie i have a favourite though please!

My doggie loves her kitty too! Glad I could get a smile. Take care.
HUGS!

(((((((((biiv)))))))))))))

I get that feeling a lot. I'm hoping you feel better sooner rather than later.

Please take care.

Sorry Biiv, wish things were better for you.

Take care,
Linda

Hello I hope things are going better for you at this time. Sometimes the stress of holidays is too much for bipolar and depressed people to take, then they become ill or offset from the stress. It is no wonder when you think about holidays 2 months before they happen, and then stress up to that point. You may want to put in a quick call to your Dr Biiv because the Dr can change your medication dosage to help you feel better, during this time. There are also lights available for Bipolar and Depression as well, that can be obtained cheaply, and Insurance may cover the cost if the Dr will give you a prescription for the light. Take care i hope things get better for you soon. Sincerely Soidhonia

thanks canders. still feeling totally out of control and disgusting. its good to know people bother enough here to respond though. thank you.

thanks Linda. you take care too.

hi Soidhonia. thanks for your post. i havent even started thinking about the holidays yet though. nor do i want to! i love the holidays and im sure i ll enjoy them when they get here and i get home from college but right now i just dont want to think about anything.
i dont have a Dr, only a pdoc that ive only seen once and not to talk about meds. was thinking of increasing my dose myself but i hate meds and their side effects
im also only covered under my parents insurance and since they dont know very much about my stuff i dont want to use that at all.
none of this matters anyway. even though i fully deserve my misery maybe i can hope my T can help me break out of this when i see her tomorrow.
thank you for posting.
take care

(((biiv))) u don't deserve ur misery, no one deserves this! the holidays r coming and that things will start looking up soon i know how stressful college can b, but stay strong b/c u can get thru it!

thank you zombiette. i have decided to increase my meds. i cant keep going like this. its too much. its such a waste when i know there can be life out there if i can just get it together to find it. sorry to whine.