[Sweet Pea]

I don't have insurance so I can't go to any kind of therapy or counseling. I only work part time and can't afford to pay a therapist right now. I have a feeling that my boyfriend is going to be moving out; he hasn't talked to me since Tuesday. Tuesday was the anniversary of my grandmothers passing and a really hard day for me. I was quiet for the most part and very short spoken when I did speak. I have tried explaining my behavior and apologizing for being short with him but he doesn't seem to care.

I don't have any friends there isn't anyone to talk to around me. I don't feel that anyone would understand my feelings even if there was someone to talk to. I sit around most days and contemplate suicide. Mostly the reason I haven't attempted anything is I don't think it would be fair to my son or my mother.

I've always been a very strong person, always thought depression was an excuse. I feel differently now that I am having the same feelings as someone who has actually been diagnosed with depression.

[gayleggg]

Yes, being depressed can be very cruel. It's hard to relate to others while being depressed, too. I hate to hear you don't have any insurance. I haven't had any for almost a year now. You are right about one thing it would be devastating to your mom and son if you were to commit suicide. There are quite a few on here that have had to face that and it haunts them still. As a mother I would crushed if my daughter died. Hang in there and keep posting and talking to other here. It does help.

[Fuzzybear]

Sorry you're having such a rough time but please know that we are here whenever you would like to talk! Please don't think you are weaker for admitting you have depressed symptoms, if anything you are very brave to do so!