I need to vent a little. I wouldn't turn down a hug either...

I have just this month got on a regular schedule with my therapist. Finally every Friday at 1pm. She wanted to schedule every 2 weeks and I asked for every week please. I realized that somehow Dec 1st was missed so today would have been the last appointment for 2 weeks. I checked with her to make sure she was going to be in the day after Thanksgiving and she confirmed.

Then this morning she cancels! It just made me so upset that I sat and cried as if she were doing something on purpose to me. (selfish). She had called in not feeling well. (what nerve, huh?!)

I recognize this is my problem. And I did activities to get myself out of my feeling sorry for myself and they worked, thank goodness. But, doggone it, why does everything have to hit me like a ton of bricks?! A bump in the road becomes an insumountable obtacle and it is all my doing! How dumb is THAT?!?!

it isnt dumb at all, i completely understand.

and heres that hug you wanted...

((((((((((((((((((((((((((( E C H O E S )))))))))))))))))))))))))))

its unfortunate when unforseen circumstances throw us of our plans. but it does happen unfortunately, and your therapist cant help being ill. neither can you help being depressed. the great thing about PC is that you can vent all you like, so just vent here, as much as you seem fit.

well done for doing activities to help yourself, i think you should congratulate yourself for that.

when in depression small bumps in the road will seem like huge mountains or canyons. its completely understandable to me and i know what its like. it wont be like this forever. things will improve soon, im sure of it.

try not to to look at the next few weeks as though it was a timeline, looking at the weeks until your next therapy session. instead just take it day by day and the days will soon pass.

take care and im sorry you feel that way, and if you need to vent, pm me anytime ok. im here for you.

simon

[(JD)]

It isn't dumb... and I'm sorry this happened. I hope your T does good self care and is well to see her other patients on Monday.

(((hugs)))

[ster]

Sorry to hear this is bothering you. I had an appoint.at 2:15 however I got a call this morning as she needed to do something. For me though I have no problem as there is so much I have recived from my T. so my next app. is next Wed. One more thing I have to say before I would have screamed and raved on for hours. If anyone saw cops and seen the one were a guy got caugh speeding. It showed the guy screamed and he was jumping around on the truck saking a lot. That guy was me I did not know how to get control of that.

i get times when my therapist cancels due to her health issues, and sometimes it comes at a bad time because i am low and i need the session, but it makes me learn how not to rely on somebody to pull me out of it. it is an inconvienience, but it isnt the therapists fault, nor is it yours/mine etc. it just happens every so often, but it does make you learn to deal with things on your own, the way your therapist would help. by using the techniques your therapist would use, but on your own. maybe you could try it...

take care

simon

[Perna]

That's awfully late to cancel. I would let her know how it affected you if you can next session. If you say, "no, that's fine" then she may not know to what extent it bothers you. My T would tell me when she was going away several months in advance so we could work on that and give me a little more detail of her situation if she had to cancel or was going to be late, etc. so I could at least understand. My day was Friday too but then she started going to classes on Fridays and had to swap days so much we finally decided to change to another, better day for her even though I'm pretty bad with changes.

Ster, it sounds like you have learned a lot since that time. It feels good, doesn't it?! Powerful!

Thank you for replying!

[(JD)]

Oh I don't think there is ever a "good" time for a T to have to cancel. Please remember that they have family emergencies, and also they are caring for other patients and might be having to deal with another's crisis.(Sometimes these are in the middle of the night, and they don't get enough sleep to think!) I know it doesn't put your therapy any farther along, and the feeling is like being abandoned, but it's good to know that when and if you need your T to stop everything for you, she will!

Thank you for your replies and hugs! I appreciate both very much.

Sky, I too hope she feels better. When the office person called. to tell me the doc was cancelling I told her I was disappointed and I hoped she would feel better soon.

Simon thank you for reminding me to be proud of using new tools to cope. It was ultimately a good experience in that I was shown that the skills and ideas we have talked about do actually work, when applied!

Perna, I am going to assume she couldn't help but to cancel at the last minute. That's illness for you: inconvenient and unpredictable. Change will be easier for you as you learn to look at it closely and at your reaction closely too. Thank you for your kind words. I will discuss my reaction with her, but not because I think she did anything wrong.. just that I feel my reaction was inappropriate and over the top. I want to talk about it and examine it and see what else is there.. sometimes they key to the lock...

So, I had no session with her, but did have a lesson anyway. And it gave me a good reason to practice and increase the relaxation meditation that I enjoy. My reaction was extremely emotional... and yet I overcame it rather than succumbed to it.



ECHOES

[Perna]

"but not because I think she did anything wrong.. just that I feel my reaction was inappropriate"

Why does it have to be you? That's what I wish you'd discuss with your T; it could in fact be her. We can't assume she was sick (we can but that's an assumption and basing our lives on unchecked assumptions is not a great idea) she could be out at a really good after-Thanksgiving sale with her mother!

But back to the question of right/wrong and appropriate/inappropriate -- they're the same thing and none of those words should apply! No she's not "wrong" but your reaction is your reaction and can't be inappropriate because it just is. Your thoughts and feelings are as valid as anyone else's. I don't think her cancelling is wrong; if she wasn't in fact last minute sick, I think her timing was crummy.

[Sarah116]

That must be really disappointing! Hey at least you can make another appointment after your Psychotherapist or Psychologist feels better! Even Doctors get sick too! Play VIP Therapy while you wait LOL!