[Maskon]

Having a hard day today, and feeling really alone. My partner is going through his own stuff too so I don't want to be a bother and vent to him. Just need to vent I guess. I was supposed to go out for lunch with a friend, and I bailed because I feel so crappy, but I KNOW it would have been good for me to go out. I don't know. She knows I deal with anxiety, but she doesn't know I struggle with depression. Why is it easier to be open about anxiety than depression. Why do I feel more ashamed? It's so frustrating. I'm pissed at myself for cancelling, as now here I sit unproductive, lonely and overwhelmed.

Oof. Not a fun day I'm in the same boat with you if it's an consolation. Skipped out on a meeting because I was just not feeling it but I really should have gone and now I sit and wallow in angst. Yayyyy not doing anythingggg D:

[Maskon]

Originally Posted by keeprolling

Oof. Not a fun day I'm in the same boat with you if it's an consolation. Skipped out on a meeting because I was just not feeling it but I really should have gone and now I sit and wallow in angst. Yayyyy not doing anythingggg D:

Thanks for responding. Nice to know I'm not alone.
It's so frustrating to go through this, it's like I can't win no matter what! But I'm going to try to accomplish a few things today I guess so I hopefully feel a bit better. Hope your day turns out ok.

[Pierro]

Maskon, I am so sorry that you and your partner are suffering with your own issues as well as each other's. That can not be easy at all. I have had so many of those bad days, I would hate to think how many I gone through. The only piece of advice I can give you that has helped me was that to accept that you are having a really bad day. Thats not to say tomorrow will be bad too. I think sometimes fighting these emotions can be worse than the depression itself. Maybe you will feel better soon and can go to lunch with your friend. It is very hard to talk about depresion, the main reason I dont tell anyone is because I am afraid that they will treat me differently. Maybe I am paranoid.Probably. Best wishes.

[spoiledprince]

This is when the issue really leave their marks. When it comes to friends and family. You're depression is nothing to be ashamed of, so many suffer from it and we need to all realize it is out of our control and that we have to ride the waves as they come. I've lost so many friends (and unfortunately family members) to them misunderstanding my condition as detachment. I miss them, I miss being in their lives; I know now that it is easier to tell them that I'm not perfect then to lose them. In doing this, I've only gotten closer to the friends I still have (as opening about my problems, made it easy for them to open about theirs). I hope you can have this experience as well, as a true friend will accept you for who you are, even with the looming shadow of depression. I hope you can feel good enough to have a spectacular day still. Much love

[Maskon]

I appreciate your guys's words.
Really struggling with getting going. I forced myself to shower and get ready and now I'm paralyzed by the idea of going out and running these fricken errands I "should" get done today as I'm without car tomorrow. I feel like a failure, ugly and crying. I really need some support from my partner but I know he really has other stuff going on at the moment... Sometimes I fear I'm overly dependent on him. ****. I don't know. Deep breath.... Ok I think I will do some painting to distract myself, and try to deal with the other list of to dos later. How do you force yourself to do things? I struggle tremendously at times.

I don't. To me, telling a person with depression to ________(fill in the blank....sit in the sunshine, get out of bed, have lunch, etc.) is the equivalent of telling me to grow wings and fly.
I think what Pierro said is very valid. Accept that it's a bad day. Do what you need to get through it and then don't look back. Because getting through the day is sometimes a tremendous achievement in itself.
On the subject of telling people about depression, I will only tell those that have it....Those that don't simply do not understand. Just my opinion.
Keep it simple today. Tomorrow we will conquer !!