[bookmadness]

Hi all--

I was wondering if anyone here has their own way of knowing how far down the rabbit hole they've fallen with their depression and/or other various mental health issues.

For example, my motivation has been shot so my ability to complete anything beyond my bare minimum is kaput as well, which eats further at my self-esteem, adds to my anxiety, makes me feel worse about myself, leads to less motivation, and the circle continues.

Familiar to anyone? I'm not at my worst, but I feel stuck in a cycle that I cannot seem to remove myself from. (I am medicated, and see a therapist that I have a good long standing relationship with.)

Ho hum.
bookmadness

Hi bookmadness! I feel like depression and motivation are really interconnected so being able to separate the two is difficult for me. Honestly I feel like the lack of motivation is a symptom of depression and something that's extremely difficult to gather the energy for.

But in all honesty, depression for me is that voice in the back of my head beating me down and making me sad. It brings up SI and suicide and asks the existential questions that really have no answers.

Motivation is just linked to the energy I can gather in myself to do something and a lot of the time it can't be grown inside of you when you're sad. I've been working on making it easier for my future self by working hard as my past self if that makes sense. So when it comes down to it I guess I just try to rationalize it out and then move my brain into auto mode and hope for the best. Sorry I'm not that helpful :/

Best of luck!

[30ish]

Hi there!

I realized just today that I have so much crap to do and I don't know where to begin. I'm slowly coming out of a low and there is always that moment where I'm just like... d**n, my life has really gone to s*** over the last however many days, weeks, months... Motivation is the first to go when I'm depressed and the last to return as my mood improves.

[Viuam]

wow... I dont even know where to start with that. In my house it's called "lazy". I do more when I'm juiced up on meds and have some sort of routine at the same time. It's hard to begin a routine from the bottom, I guess the meds help pull me out of that bottom.

[bookmadness]

Originally Posted by 30ish

Hi there!

I realized just today that I have so much crap to do and I don't know where to begin. I'm slowly coming out of a low and there is always that moment where I'm just like... d**n, my life has really gone to s*** over the last however many days, weeks, months... Motivation is the first to go when I'm depressed and the last to return as my mood improves.

I hope your realizing what you have to do means you're on an upswing, 30ish

I think you hit the nail on head, though, that motivation can be the first thing to go when you're depressed and the last thing to return once you start to feel better. I think I then spend so much time mulling things, thoughts, and notions in my head that the pending-needs-to-be-but-never-will-be-done-list just sucks up any progress I might be making.

I'll do my best to mindfully focus on the progress. Though today is a "hurumph" how did this all quite happen? day.
thanks
bookmadness

[bookmadness]

Originally Posted by Viuam

wow... I dont even know where to start with that. In my house it's called "lazy". I do more when I'm juiced up on meds and have some sort of routine at the same time. It's hard to begin a routine from the bottom, I guess the meds help pull me out of that bottom.

Meds are helpful. I realized I have not been as dedicated to adding my anxiety meds "as needed" so I've been trying to integrate those into my routine the past few days. Maybe that will help with some of my thinking, then magically combine with my other meds and I can have that extra boost

[bookmadness]

Originally Posted by keeprolling

Hi bookmadness! I feel like depression and motivation are really interconnected so being able to separate the two is difficult for me. Honestly I feel like the lack of motivation is a symptom of depression and something that's extremely difficult to gather the energy for.

But in all honesty, depression for me is that voice in the back of my head beating me down and making me sad. It brings up SI and suicide and asks the existential questions that really have no answers.

Motivation is just linked to the energy I can gather in myself to do something and a lot of the time it can't be grown inside of you when you're sad. I've been working on making it easier for my future self by working hard as my past self if that makes sense. So when it comes down to it I guess I just try to rationalize it out and then move my brain into auto mode and hope for the best. Sorry I'm not that helpful :/

Best of luck!

Keeprolling--

You are helpful, even just your user name I tend to let my depression, anxiety and symptoms all jumble together into one mental health cornucopia! The way you worded how motivation was your energy and depression was that voice in the back of your head really did help me clarify.

thanks so much--
bookmadness

[Viuam]

Originally Posted by bookmadness

Meds are helpful. I realized I have not been as dedicated to adding my anxiety meds "as needed" so I've been trying to integrate those into my routine the past few days. Maybe that will help with some of my thinking, then magically combine with my other meds and I can have that extra boost

I try to give myself pep talks every time I do something, whether it's writing a letter or taking a shower. I just say yay! You could do this one thing today! If it's bad enough that I'm on meds I can't expect to be as efficient as everyone else. So I've decided not to beat myself up about it. My dad however, who is very alfa male and super driven (for those who speak Spanish, es de esos que parece que tiene un cohete en el culo), has a hard time understanding this aspect of my depression. We just had a tense conversation this morning, which I know was a sort of pep talk for him but it felt like he was pressuring me to do everything right now. Obviously that starts freaking me out. I know he's on my side though so I'm trying not to turn it into a conflict.

[hvert]

Originally Posted by bookmadness

Hi all--

For example, my motivation has been shot so my ability to complete anything beyond my bare minimum is kaput as well, which eats further at my self-esteem, adds to my anxiety, makes me feel worse about myself, leads to less motivation, and the circle continues.

This! It's such a vicious cycle! I lack sufficient motivation to get things done, and then I feel bad about wasting all my time which just makes me even less motivated to get started the next day.

I feel like if I can stop this cycle, I'll be done with the depression. I'm not even sure if I'm really depressed -- I just act like it right now

[MariposaLlora]

Being in a depression-pit really saps my energy; which in turn means I have no motivation to complete any task. I try to focus on one key project, and just slowly work towards that goal. Then this 'success' acts as a stepping stone for me to move into doing more. I think building momentum is crucial.

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[hvert]

Quick addition --- lack of focus plays into this for me as well.

[littlemiss1970]

Originally Posted by bookmadness

Hi all--

I was wondering if anyone here has their own way of knowing how far down the rabbit hole they've fallen with their depression and/or other various mental health issues.

For example, my motivation has been shot so my ability to complete anything beyond my bare minimum is kaput as well, which eats further at my self-esteem, adds to my anxiety, makes me feel worse about myself, leads to less motivation, and the circle continues.

Familiar to anyone? I'm not at my worst, but I feel stuck in a cycle that I cannot seem to remove myself from. (I am medicated, and see a therapist that I have a good long standing relationship with.)

Ho hum.
bookmadness

I can relate to what you've said. I suffer from bipolar depression, anxiety, ptsd and adhd. Horrible combo. Anyways I'm medicated and see a therapist too. I've just crawled out of a depressive episode. It can get better! Now that I've climbed the cliff I'm scared it won't last. That's when my anxiety kicks in but I try and manage it best I can. Do you think you might benefit from a tweek of yr meds? I'm on a great combo of lamictal, lexapro, neurontin, geodon and latuda. Latuda is what's helped me get out of the hole I was in.

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[Fuzzybear]