[Viuam]

My ex has directv, which is charged to my credit card, basically because he's lazy and won't go to the bank to figure out what is wrong with his card. I, as an enabler with low self esteem, thought nothing at the time of this. To note, he has had two years to figure out what to do with the damn card, so there is no excuse there. So, it was charged to my credit card and he simply paid me back in cash.

Last time, which was a few weeks ago, he paid me three months in advance. Since we broke up, this is a problem because I don't want to talk to him in three months time to see what he will do and I know that he won't fix it on his own. Also, I have the money and it would be wrong to keep it.

So, I texted him today to ask him how I could give him his money back, because I could not continue to have the service on my card. I have told him several times before to fix the situation with his own card so that I can transfer the service to him, but as I said before, he can't bring himself to do it. The problem that I'm having now is that he won't answer the damn text. I have not insisted, and I know that he's online.

So now I'm working myself up and getting really angry about it, firstly because it's impolite and I'm not saying anything unreasonable (in fact, I intentionally made that text as nice as possible), and secondly, the more time passes the more I remember every time he used me and was an ungrateful and unsupportive bastard. It's also partly me being angry at myself for letting it happen, and even worse, sucking up to the guy (jalarle bolas como una pendeja).

I'm thinking about just canceling the service and telling him to go **** himself with the money. If he wants it back he'll actually have to get off his butt and get it. And I know that doing that will piss him off because he spends hours in front of that tv. I'm so angryyyyyyyyyy! Someone please tell me if I'm overreacting about this, I just think it's so rude! I've already taken 6mg of lexotanil to calm down and I am still super angry, but I have not contacted him again.

Btw, I sent the text at around 1400, so it's been some time now.

[krisakira]

Just cancel it already!

Definitely not overreacting in my opinion! I would be positively livid and would have cancelled the service immediately hahaha.

If you want to be a bit more calm than I would be, I would suggest leaving him a text (and maybe an email if you're feeling particularly generous) saying that you are going to cancel the service and if he would like his money he can respond back and help determine a meeting time. A warning notice is perfectly acceptable

Best of luck!

Second that. No more discussion. Just do it.

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[krisakira]

Give him a boundary. Set a date that you are going to cancel services. Say "By the end of the month, I will cancel your services if you have not changed cards yet." That way he has time and it will be only his fault when it is cancelled.

Originally Posted by krisakira

Give him a boundary. Set a date that you are going to cancel services. Say "By the end of the month, I will cancel your services if you have not changed cards yet." That way he has time and it will be only his fault when it is cancelled.

See now this is my problem with that....

Quote
"I have told him several times before to fix the situation with his own card so that I can transfer the service to him, but as I said before, he can't bring himself to do it. The problem that I'm having now is that he won't answer the damn text. I have not insisted, and I know that he's online. "

He's known for a while to change it. He hasn't. He's using her. Giving him "time" isn't going to change anything. It is his fault it gets cancelled. If it's cancelled and he wants his money back which I don't think he deserves then he can make the effort to get it.

Lazy? He could probably do without the tv anyway.

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[Viuam]

The forum has spoken! May the aforementioned evil ex be directv-less! Poof!!!

Originally Posted by Viuam

The forum has spoken! May the aforementioned evil ex be directv-less! Poof!!!

Proud of you.

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[Viuam]

Thank you. Now I have to find a way to calm myself down and get to sleep! I hate users that take advantage of your low self esteem and make you question everything you do because it might be "crazy". This guy was selfish, manipulative, amd sometimes just plain mean. Being with a person who suffers from depression is no picnic, but taking advantage of it is just evil.

[krisakira]

Originally Posted by Michanne

See now this is my problem with that....

Quote
"I have told him several times before to fix the situation with his own card so that I can transfer the service to him, but as I said before, he can't bring himself to do it. The problem that I'm having now is that he won't answer the damn text. I have not insisted, and I know that he's online. "

He's known for a while to change it. He hasn't. He's using her. Giving him "time" isn't going to change anything. It is his fault it gets cancelled. If it's cancelled and he wants his money back which I don't think he deserves then he can make the effort to get it.

Lazy? He could probably do without the tv anyway.

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I am not saying it will change anything. I am saying to stop give him empty threats. Set a time limit and stick to it. Cancel at the end of the month. Just go ahead and do it.. He sees you as a push over! You are better than that.

Originally Posted by krisakira

I am not saying it will change anything. I am saying to stop give him empty threats. Set a time limit and stick to it. Cancel at the end of the month. Just go ahead and do it.. He sees you as a push over! You are better than that.

My issue is he has made so many promises and it shouldn't have ever been on her card. He's been making empty promises! Giving him to the end of the month is just prolonging it even more. For no reason because he clearly has no intention of rectifying the problem if he doesn't even return her texts. Sometimes we women are too nice. No business would have waited that long.

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[krisakira]

Originally Posted by Michanne

My issue is he has made so many promises and it shouldn't have ever been on her card. He's been making empty promises! Giving him to the end of the month is just prolonging it even more. For no reason because he clearly has no intention of rectifying the problem if he doesn't even return her texts. Sometimes we women are too nice. No business would have waited that long.

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You're right. Which is why canceling it right away was my first suggestion.

Originally Posted by krisakira

Give him a boundary. Set a date that you are going to cancel services. Say "By the end of the month, I will cancel your services if you have not changed cards yet." That way he has time and it will be only his fault when it is cancelled.

I see this as delaying the inevitable.

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[Viuam]

Made the request to cancel the service, but it won't take effect until tomorrow. Meh. I actually got an answer about an hour ago from the guy, all he said was "I'll figure it out tomorrow". It's too late anyway, and I didn't answer back, but man does that dismissive behavior piss me off. Less than a month ago I was making appointments and going to the supermarket for this giant BLEEP, and now were down to this. It breaks my heart that someone can be so cold, and this has happened to me before.

I know that I overthink things and tend to obsess when something goes wrong, but is his flip the switch behavior normal? I can't do that, it's seems so inhuman. I put a lot of love into a relationship, and it drives me nuts to be treated so badly in return. Right now I'm just curled in bed, my chest is twisting and I'm super anxious. I don't know what to do with myself.

[Smellyfinger]

Yea just cancel it. I bet he'll do something about it then.

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[Pierro]

Pull the plug when his money runs out and let him deal with it then!

[Alone & confused]

I would cancel it if I were you! if your mad at yourself for letting him use you, this would be a way to put an end to it.