I haven't been around for awhile. I'm doing okay but I wish I were doing better.
Haven't had a cigarette in a week. I'm not even proud of myself, though.
I'm feeling like a flub. A big fat flub taking up air and space. It amazes me how incredibly stupid I can be. Every memory I have is of me being stupid. I'm a big fat stupid flub.
I was thinking about my childhood last night and I got really mad. Why do I do this to myself? I can't do anything to change it-I'm stuck with what I had and I'll have to learn to live with it without getting so upset about it.
I remember when I was innocent of it all. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with me when I went through terrible bouts of sadness and confusion but I was also somehow blissfully ignorant. I wish I could be blissfully ignorant again.

[Christina86]

(((((((((((Jax)))))))))))))

Well, I'm proud of you for quitting the cigarettes. It's been a hard struggle for me to finally quit smoking. I got depressed & angry that I couldn't have my "fix." Nicotine is a powerful drug so congrats on doing so well.

Have hope that you will be able to feel better. Are you seeing a doc or therapist? Take care.--Suzy

I've missed you!

((((((((((((( jax )))))))))))))))))

[Boopers]

Hi Jax,

You are not fat, you are not stupid. Try not to let your mind tell you this. Keep telling yourself that you love yourself and you are what matters in this world.
No, we cannot change our childhood but we can change the future. I hope you can change your's for the better.
Also, I am so proud of you for quitting smoking. Do you realize what an accomplishment that is. I know how hard it is cause I haven't been able to quit yet. I know it's a struggle but keep trying.
Wishing you the best,
Linda

Hey Everyone,
((((((((Hugs all around))))))))))))
Thanks for your support and hugs.
I still haven't smoked and you're right- that is an accomplishment I should be proud of and I'm starting to allow myself to feel that, although, I have gained a lot of weight.
I'm feeling better now that it's cold out. It being in the upper 60s in December-East coast-was really starting to depress me. I need the winter. I love the cold air and the snow!!!! It's in the 40s now and life is good. (yippee)
Anyway, thanks again.

[pamelasu]

I hope you get feeling better soon! Hang in there!

[Soidhonia]

Hello I am glad to hear from you again. I hope things get better for you soon. Have you talked to your therapist and Dr regarding how you are feeling, perhaps you need a medication adjustment to help you at this time. There are support groups as well that may help you at this time as well to be around others that have mental health issues as well, so you feel more understood. 2 good groups are NAMI and DBSA both can be found on the internet and give you the times of the groups. I am also going to leave you the hotline number for mental health issues if you need to call and talk to someone in person 1-800-273-TALK. Take care and good day Sincerely Soidhonia