Depressed and no one to talk to

I am feeling very depressed. It seems like nothing is going right. I work two jobs and my fiancé works a 40+ hour a week job and we can't really afford to buy food. We can buy enough for 2-3 days. I just started my second job about 3 weeks ago and my hours keep going up but I have other bills to pay. My fiancé makes good money doing what he does but he pays most of our bills. I am trying to help him but the money hasn't started coming in yet like I know it will soon but I can't wait much longer. I can't talk to my family because I have borrowed money off of almost every family member I can. I also can't talk to my family about the depression because I am to the point that I am thinking about self harm and I worried that if I tell my family they will call my mental health provider and they will call the police. I don't want my neighbors to know me and my fiancé's problems. I need advice bad.

I'm sorry.

Have you considered bypassing your parents and preemptively going directly to your mental health provider and asking for extra support at this time?

Can you talk to your fiance? Maybe he could lend you some support, even during this time of financial stress.

sounds like you are probably spending too much money on something that you either do not need or will need to do without until things calm.

Best wishes to you

I don 't what to talk to my mental health provider I don't want them to put in a hospital. I don't need hospitalization. The only person I can trust is my fiancé and may be one of my aunts but my aunt is going through her own problems. I may be stuck fighting this alone.

Well neither one of us can give up our cars. We need both cars so we both can work. We make payments on both which sucks. We have to pay our rent every month. We live in a 1 bedroom apartment. We both smoke and I keep trying to get him to quit but he won't so I can't because he won't. I just don't know what to do.

I am so sorry. Will things improve soon?
I don't know why you need to work so much but clearly you're trying to stay on top of things.

Is it possible that a money makeover would help you at all? I always find, when I'm at the bottom, that organization is what keeps me going (simply being in control of something helps). A financial makeover would give you that sense of control. Someone would tell you what you have, what you can spend, how much of each bill you need to pay of, what you should consolidate, etc.
Not only would you feel as if you're doing the best you can, but it would be organized and, therefore, manageable.
Feeling out of control is a big part of depression. Especially if it's about money.....

Just a thought and please feel free to talk to me...

ETA...I apologize for coming across as....however. I tend to be quite **** retentive and the urge to organize sometime spills over into my convo's