Problems, problems and more problems

So I've been trying to make positive changes in my moods and keeping a positive attitude for everything I have been dealing with. However, I don't seem to find peace around me because something always comes up.

So this is what happened this time. My aunt was the only one who knew about my depression and suicidal problems. I didn't spoke to my mom about it to not worry her since she lives far. My mom found out through her. So my mom went on and told someone else and now it has spread around the family and there are rumors going around about how I tried to kill myself TWICE with pills (which never happened). Now everyone knows something is going on when I never spoke anything with anybody. Now I'm so mad at my mom, I feel bad I feel this way about her but I hate her for telling things to other people. I'm leaving to the Dominican Republic for a week to be with her but I don't want to go anymore. I don't want to see her. She betrayed me. She heard bad news about her own son and instead of keeping it between my aunt, her and me, she included people who I have no close connection with. Now it's all a big deal that everyone knows about.

Idk what to do. Should I go to DR? I don't want to ****ing see her and end up in some family talk. I got the plane ticket but I just want to miss that flight and pay her money back. Please advise me what to do???

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That sounds rough. If my parents ever did anything remotely like that, they would get an earful. I don't agree with what your mom did, but she still is your mom. Have you spoke with her since she told the who family? I thinking having an open and frank face to face conversation before the trip to DR would be a good thing.

We can't have a face to face because conversation because she is in DR, she called earlier but I was so quite I didn't want to be on the phone with her and she just talked like nothing happened asking me if I need for her to buy me a deodorant like wth? But ugh idk what to do I'm so angry

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Okay, the time zone thing makes things harder. I can't think of good reason why your mother would ask that, but what are moms for? Maybe talking to your aunt to see why she told your mom would help. Are you at all mad at your aunt for telling your mom?

No not at my aunt like, she told her cuz she is supposed to know since I'm her son, and my aunt told her very clear to keep it between us. However, she thought with her *** and made it worst for me.

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I say cancel.

In truth, it's your aunt that you should be angry at.

But if you go to see your mom, it's not going to be pleasant, and do you need that? No you don't.

All I predict is a bad time for all.

Sorry. Just my opinion.

I see no problem feigning illness (well, you kind of are so it's no lie) and postponing.

Hugs to you.

That makes sense. I see where you are coming from. Do you think having a few days to cool off will make any difference? Would it be easier to talk to her in a few days to talk it out?

Idk I'm leaving after tomorrow so idk what to do with all this crap going on. Should I just go and act like nothing happened? Cuz I can't fake it for too long

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She did what was right, like is my mother but she just messed everything up. I knew something kept me from telling her. But thank you for replying

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OK, I have some serious baggage surrounding my mother and family who live in Colombia so please forgive the negative tone. Throughout my life my mother has had very few good things to say about me. They don't believe I'm sick, instead I'm lazy. After my mothers latest stab in the back I doubt I'll even go to her funeral. I'm not going to be a hypocrite and pay my respects to someone who screwed me over.

I guess what I'm saying is, if this is a common occurrence, don't go, it is hard enough to manage the disease without added garbage. If you've had a good relationship and it is a matter of education, and you feel you have the energy, then go.

Good luck!

Thank you. Sorry to heard that about your mom, that's just how I feel. We've had a good relationship but now at the moment where depression, suicide are part of the equition, things are delicate and sensitive to be talking ish here and there.

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Actually. My mom outed me to a lot of my community as well. Not as badly as yours though. I'm terribly sorry that happened. I... I would probably skip the trip mainly because I would be livid to the point that I wouldn't want to see her at all and wouldn't want to go there and face all the people she's told and would be afraid I would say something terrible to her. Just by you telling her (either by email or phone or face to face) that she really crossed a line and you're very upset with her for now should get the point across. She needs to understand that while she found out about your depression, it is YOUR depression which means it's your decision of who to tell and etc.

Of course, if you have a lot of other reasons to go back to that area, maybe it would be worth it to go back but still, the most important part is to tell her how much you've been hurt by how she's told everyone and how it is not her issue to tell. Especially for something so personal. Ugh I would just be soooooo angry (I'm getting twitchy just thinking about it)!

Best of luck!

Edit: The most important part is to consider yourself. Will it cause a ridiculous amount of anxiety and trigger something if you go? Do you think it's worth it to face the issue head on or let it steam a bit before meeting?

So you suggest I send her a message? She is mad sensitive and I don't want to make her feel bad. She's been acting with me like nothing had happened and trying to not look bad cuz my aunt yelled at her for what she did and she kept giving vage reasons as to why. Idk I've never been hard in her ugh!

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D: hmmm. To be honest it really is up to you. I would still be ridiculously upset and would cancel my flight and send her a grumpy email so she really understands and etc but I tend to be rather emotional in how I deal with situations like this to help show that they really hurt me.

If you know you'll regret the message then I don't know if you need to send one. Perhaps for you an in person meeting will be better? And then you can hammer it home there. I can tell you really love your mom it just sucks that she did something like this (I'm glad you have your aunt fighting for you too)

Thanks you, I'm glad everyone understands how upsetting this is. I couldn't sleep holding this in so I had to sent her a message, I just did. It makes me feel bad but I'm not a kid anymore and I can't fake things anymore.

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Good. I'm glad you did. You need to show how important this is to you and not sweep it under the rug with whatever horrifying dust bunnies live there. I'm sure you and your mom can resolve it and both come out better

Best of luck making your decisions and keep us posted on how things go!

Everything is good now. I'm doing the trip and it will be good things are calmed

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