[happytulips]

I still feel so stupid for trying to reach out to two different "friends" last week only to feel rejected. I believe the expression "barking up the wrong tree" fits here. These were women who claimed to be my friend, but when I really needed someone to talk to, they weren't available. One was downright rude, and the other treated me like one of her "fans" as she used to be in radio and has lots of them.

Maybe I'm just too sensitive. Maybe I just don't get out enough. Maybe I should just be content living a quiet and secluded life, because when I try to stretch my wings and fly, I fall on my face. I am a sensitive person and being rejected by a peer doesn't set well with me. It threw me off for several weeks!

I don't have time for this malarkey!

Ah well, just venting.
Thanks for reading.

[Hellion]

You're so right about that....except my experience was more recent, didn't involve friends and was on the Internet but still it was pretty depressing. Reminds me no matter where I go someones likely to try and make me feel bad.

[happytulips]

You know what, it probably says more about the person, then it does us. I know it's not always intentional, but even if it is...I need to feel strong enough within myself to not "fall apart" and act crazy when stuff doesn't go my way.

I'm pretty sure, I need to put more "irons in the fire", so to speak! :-)

Thanks Hellion and you have a great night!

[popsie]

that's too bad that happened, but kudos to you for having the courage to reach out to "friends" or possible friends. that takes guts and not everyone has that!

I've had a friend who I still consider a friend but seriously didn't know how to handle it when I went into the hospital. I could have used her support and there is a part that has backed away since then but I don't feel mad anymore because I know she was just not able. She has other assets. I've had more friends that walked or ran away. A couple were downright, kick em when you're down nasty. One was just plain thoughtless. The nastiest were actually bipolar which hurt even more because they should have known what I was going through. Those people are gone from my life. So basically I can be empathic to people who try but just can't deal and people who are ignorant or thoughtless. The sad part is there are so many more of the thoughtless types.

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[hvert]

It could be the kind of people you tend to be friends with, too. It bums me out also when friends seem uninterested in my life and don't even bother to ask about 'big' events. I finally noticed that many of my friends did not seem to have time for me unless we were talking about them... which led to the realization that I have been surrounding myself with narcissists for years.

You're right that it isn't always intentional and more irons in the fire helps

[happytulips]

Originally Posted by hvert

It could be the kind of people you tend to be friends with, too. It bums me out also when friends seem uninterested in my life and don't even bother to ask about 'big' events. I finally noticed that many of my friends did not seem to have time for me unless we were talking about them... which led to the realization that I have been surrounding myself with narcissists for years.

You're right that it isn't always intentional and more irons in the fire helps

Thanks for your insight hvert. This girl had all kinds of problems..within her marriage and the choices she was making. A real ball of nerves and she didn't hold back from the prescription drugs, either. ;-) But, I chose to see only the part I liked...her outgoing nature, friendliness, which come to find out was totally insincere, and her intelligence. (She is a nurse practitioner.). Serves me right for "picking her" her as someone I wanted to get close to.

[paynful]

Oh man, I can relate. In my experience, it hasn't matter if I tried to reach out to my sister or someone I considered my best friend... I got smacked down. And for some reason, it is always when I need them the most... when I am so heart broken already that I feel desperate. But as painful as it is, I have come to realized that it is partially my fault. I'm an all or nothing kind of girl.

My relationships tend to be one sided, because I like to feel helpful and needed. I have no problem listening to other people cry or rant, because if the problem isn't mine then I can easily see a way to a helpful tip or solution. I ,also, have a natural tendancy to hide my pain and hold my emotions back.

I always consider my problems so IMMENSE because my emotions feel that huge and intense. When my dam finally breaks and I have no choice but to let the people around me know that I am struggling, they often feel overwhelmed. I have been told, "I'm your friend, NOT your therapist!" When.. I've just been in so much therapy that that is just how I talk and express myself.

I personallly find it difficult to find the balance between a causal friendship and some one I can depend upon. At the moment, I am too fragile to take that risk again. I recently had to give up a 5 year friendship, and it is a hardship that I can't face to let my heart be open to even... the possibility.

[StarStrike]

I reached out to my family... It blew up in my face. Discrimination from someone who you once thought cared about you, is really tough.