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#1
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I've lost the will to live. I just don't see any meaning behind it. There is no god, no heaven. Nothing.
I'm sick of all of this. sick and tired of doing pointless assignments at school (junior in highschool).. I'm going to fail half of my classes this semester because of my absences. I've lost all of my friends. I don';t have the will to speak with anyone at school, unless I have to. But even then it is difficult... I was dx'ed with asperger's syndrome 6 years ago.. I have a former best friend who sits right next to me in one of my classes, and we don't even talk to each other. I can't say a word. i'm failing that class. Im having chronic head pain/headaches everyday it seems.. stomach problems.. it hurts to walk or even wake up in the morning. I'm feeling fatigued everyday... Nauseous.. so tired.. temper tantrums.. etc etc. I feel incredibly guilty about all of this.. I don't even deserve emotions. I have a nice home, family, computer, all the opportunities one could ask for. yet they're all going down the drain because of my hollowness. I cant even be social or affectionate to anyone.. None of this is worth it.. I just can't take all of this anymore.. I just needed to get this out there.. I dont think people understand.. |
#2
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I'm sorry you are hurting so much. It's good to vent sometimes. All you describe in your post could be symptoms of depression. I hope you have a doctor you can trust that you can tell about these things. If you are on medication, sometimes it takes time to work, and sometimes it takes time to find the right drug(s), and dosage. Don't give up! I've been where you are and you can get better. Feel free to pm if you need to.
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#3
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I agree.. depression can be treated.... you don't have to feel this way.. have you talked to your parents about how you are feeling? Maybe you should write something to them.
I have chatted with plenty of people with Asbergers and i have found them to be quite interesting to know.My 4 year old grandson is autistic, not aspergers though.... There is a reason for you to be here. there is a God and a heaven.. and one day you will know your purpose here... tell your mom about your headaches and your depression.You can feel better hun. Let us know how things go...I'll be thinking of you. Peace...
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Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eyes can see. |
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