Is it just me?

I've been wondering lately if the way I feel is just me, or do others think/feel the same way.

I'm not suicidal, well, I'm not acting on it and do not plan to.

Ok, so my question!

I find myself saying or thinking I wish I was dead about 20-30 times a day. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I know I would not act on it, so that's not the issue, its just the thought

Am I alone?

You're not alone. I'm in the same mode. The thoughts about this are endless...no plan, just the wish that someone would take me out of this misery. It's never been this bad with me before. I know it's the depression, and the meds are just not helping...

You're not alone.. I get that a fair bit too. Out of interest, do you find it to be a conscious thought, or does it just come up unprompted?

I tend to get the latter... but at this stage, such thoughts are dismissed quite easily.

No, it's not just you. I feel so miserable lately that I wonder if I was meant to exist. I don't have a plan and don't THINK I'd ever carry one out, but the pain is tremendous and I just don't want to feel/think anymore. Pretty much every waking moment sucks. My meds aren't working either, and I don't know what other tricks (if any) my pdoc would have up his sleeve.

I'll say from personal experience that unprompted wishes to die usually come before the actual suicidal thoughts come. /:

If you feel you're ready, reach out to at least one person and tell them how you've been feeling, if you haven't already. Though speaking about wanting to die out loud often makes it more real, it will be so much better in the long run to know you have someone close to you that can help you get through the tough times to come.

Good luck c:

When my depression is controlling me I get that way too but mine is more about how other peoples lives would be better if I wasn't involved.

I find it goes in waves when I am not taking my meds.

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Most of the time it just comes up. I'll do something and as I'm walking away ill think about how stupid I was to do 'that' and hill think I wish I was dead. Its the frequency that really bothers me. I wake up and think oh no, another day?

I'm taking Celexa 40mg and the pdoc gave me Abilify, but its 700 bucks a month. I'll just have to deal and be depressed.

Thoughts of death are pretty frequent here. I think about it when I wake up, when I go to sleep, and a few times during the day... I fantasize about it even.

No, you're not alone. I had similar thoughts too, but more like: "why doesn't God just take me if I serve no purpose?" Over time, the frequency of asking this question has lessened because every now and then something happens to show me my life does serve a purpose. For example, I took fruit to a sick relative some days ago. It turned out it was one of his favourite fruits, and he enjoyed it. Simple, but powerful reminder to self that being in this world does make a difference in someone's life. I'm sure you've done countless things (some you probably don't even think of as significant) that have positively affected someone.