[GenCat]

I have worked for my colleges barn for over a year and a half now. I love it, love working with the horses, I have really learned a lot. But a lot of times it gets lonely and my depressiongets in the way. I have low self esteem and i work with with these college students who can make me feel very small and unimportant. I always wish I had half the guts and strength to do what the students here do. My anxiety causes me to not be able to ride and it kills me. Just wish i didn't have this mental problem and just want to be like everyone else and just ride and have fun.

For the most part, I find that people that have knowledge are more than eager to share it, and people are usually a lot nicer on the inside than they can sometimes appear on the outside.

I don't know if you are looking for a solution here...but why not ask one of them? Be clear and honest.

My daughter had a horse so I spent a lot of time at the barn...I love horses but am terrified of riding.
I have recently gotten in touch with a therapy riding center near my house to inquire about riding.

I think that overcoming a fear would be a big plus as far as self-esteem and obstacles goes. A great lesson in anxiety control.....

Just my opinion.

[Altered Moment]

While you will have to accept you have this disease whatever it is and that is a *****, I believe you will overcome and ride without a care. I have had addiction and depression my whole life yet I have done some awesome things and had some great adventures. Including riding horses.

If you really like it keep at it.