Can't catch a break or find any silver lining

Hello again

Well just when I think I got a handle on things life kicks me again while I'm struggling and down. It's not enough to deal with depression, a dead end job, negative family environment, debt and mounting car issues that can jeopardize said dead end job. I'm starting to think god or life itself doesn't like me. I try to live my life with some type of integrity and dignity and honor. I'm not perfect by any means I make mistakes but who did I screw over to deserve this.

I got a newer car not brand new I could get only what I could afford and I fix one issue just to hear an even bigger one has occurred. People say to buy brand new, mainly this comes from married folks or people with better jobs than me. I can't afford of right now. And to hear both family and friends say I'm stupid or just bad luck doesn't make me sad more than it just pisses me off. I'm used to ridicule sadly enough I've heard it all my life and frankly I'm tired, I try to do right and my right is always wrong. I'm sorry if this bores anyone I'm just at my wits end

I'm right there with you. Life hates me.

Sorry you are dealing with this, I feel pretty much the same. I try to remind muself that I would not feel this overwhelemed if I was not dealing with depression.

Not sure this helps but you have my support and sympathy.

This feeling truly sucks

I really appreciate that it just bothers me to no end

Me too. When I am having a really bad day, I start to feel guilty about it. Stupid sneaky shame spiral.

I know the feeling all too well and it sucks because people don't understand and tell you that its not a big deal

And then I feel eve worse because I can't be normal.

You've gotta find people that understand my friend that's what I'm in the process of doing and it's no easy task to say the least like with what I'm going through right now I virtually have no support system but I know if I don't do anything or at least try I have no one to depend on for help so of I'm gonna go down, I'll go down fighting at least that's how I look at it

You're not alone. I'm having the same issues. I'm not trying to compare, only to let you know that there are others dealing or "not" dealing like you. It's comforting in a way to know that you are out there too, at least for me.

I can't afford a T at this time, that's why I'm in these forums and reading, reading, reading.

I hope and pray that all of our prayers get answered.
We are not bad people. We can't possibly attract all this on ourselves.

You are not alone.

The question begs as to WHY??

Guess there are several of us out there. Sorry to hear of more suffering.

I don't know why. I don't have any answers.
I've had the same "battles" my entire life and asked "WHY?" and "why, me?"
Why do others coast along and get every break, good luck and success? and hardly ever break a sweat?
Why are the rest of us "suffering"?
I keep reading about this "Law of attraction", and I know we all have BIG hearts, we are GOOD people, and want what's RIGHT.

It's something much bigger than me.
I just hope that there is a better plan along the way.

And just when it can't get any worse I take my car to a mechanic with a shop and he messes the car up worse than when I brought it. My dads a mechanic but isn't much help because he really doesn't care what happens. I bought the car from a dealership I had past dealings with and it was a good car I buy this recent one and it's been giving me problems from day one and I'm behind on bills and everything and I'm feeling like a loser

Why, is the question I'm constantly asking and it sucks

I ask those same questions daily with no logical answer and for me it starts to turn into anger. I try my best not to screw people over and treat people the way I wish to be treated. But instead I get treated the way they see fit and I don't stand for it and defend myself and mysteriously then I'm the bad guy or the hurtful one and I'm sick of that double standard. I know people skating through life while I bust my butt and suffer I don't beg for handouts or friends but still I have to battle with what life throws me with no break and deal with depression. It's highly overwhelming and doesn't make matters better when you have a negative family like mine and no real friends.... This just sucks guys

Thanks I appreciate that

I don't know anything about them, but aren't there some "Cars for veterans" places out there that can give you a break on a functional vehicle? I hear you on the car stuff -- it gets really discouraging when it's just one thing after another.

I've heard of programs like this I'll have to find one, I swear I don't know why I'm going through this. I got this "I can't seem to do anything right" mentality now

Two thoughts come to my mind:

1. It's not easy, but we need to forget about WHY for now. Totally forget about it and throw it off to the side. It would be nice and give closure to find a "why", but we easily drive ourselves crazy looking for it and we don't even need it to take action and change our attitudes and circumstances. Analogy: if your computer crashes or freezes, you could search for the reason, but if you just reboot it you can get back to work--if it dies, just get a new computer. It's nice to know what happened, but sometimes you don't have time for it, and you need to keep on the task that was at hand more. In this case, the task is you and your health and situation, and that is worth a lot more effort than understanding why people are being jerks or your car is breaking down. Does that make sense? (Hope it doesn't sound too terse.)

2. Failures and mistakes are good and have to be accepted because those can teach us more than anything else. Breaks and bailouts don't grow us at all. It's really uncomfortable especially when we're depressed, but I like the way Dexter Yager says it: "Failures are just stumbling forwards to the next success." As long as you keep going, you make mistakes along the way but you're not failing because you are succeeding at keeping going and learning what you need to do.

Okay a third one came to mind:

3. It's OK to be the "bad guy!" Actually, you have to learn to accept being SEEN as the bad guy (even though you probably aren't the bad guy.) When you draw a line in the sand and say 'I won't accept this,' you become an easy target for complaining and blaming and crap like that. But you also gain self-respect and you reject that bad treatment, even though you will catch heat from that person. Let them be mad or whatever--that reaction is up to them, not you. But you're taking care of yourself will pay off in the end.

Hardknock: doing things "right" isn't always possible. Just keep doing your best and later on the right and wrong stuff usually work themselves out.

You're correct my friend I can't obsess as to why or any of it but when it happens back to back to back to back it makes me wonder will good ever come my way