New here and just looking to connect with someone

Hello all,

Just found this board today and decided to just take a moment to say Hello.

I have a odd form of MD since the age 3 that doctors couldn't diagnose till I was in my mid 30s. So that caused a lot of issues with Doctors saying I was making it up as a kid. The MD I have would get in the way of daily life sometimes and without knowing what it was I caught all kinds of trouble growing up. Still to this day it can interfere with work. But since it was something I dealt with my whole life I have grown up understanding how to cope most times. But I have little faith in the medical profession because of the lack of even knowing what it was.My depression didn't start till I was in my first marriage.

I have been dealing with various degrees of depression for over 10 years. Most times it is something that I can manage, but sometimes it worsens. I have dealt mainly with my GP but once it got bad enough that I did have to see a psychiatrist. Things improved for a bit just by having someone to talk to, but his method seemed to be medicate and get me out the door. Don't think this was helpful for me in the long run.

Lately things have worsen. The need for some sort of outlet to reach out is definitely there. So that is why I am here. And maybe just help out others too.

I am the sort that wants to fix the things, not just medicate so I accept what is. So I have ordered a book recommended by this site and have set up a appointment with my Doctor to see if I can get my life back. I need a positive change. And I need to get some sense that things will be ok because right now, I don't feel that way.

Thanks for taking the time to hear me out.

Hello there! Welcome to PC I hope you can find a home here with us! We're always here to listen whether you're looking to rant or get advice! It's sounds like you've had quite the tough battle with depression but I'm also very glad you're reaching out to a bunch of different resources (including us!). Medication, while helpful, is not what I consider the solution either. But on a good note, since it is something that is in ourselves, the answer is also within us as well

If you don't mind me asking, what book did you get?

Again, welcome to PC! I hope things start looking up for you soon!

I would just like you to encourage to find a therapist you click with. I find that I need the therapist to be female I cannot be open with males. I have also tried different types of therapy. At different times I have needed different approaches. I find I do not tolerate meds very well but do take them if things get really bad, I find them an effective short term circuit breaker but therapy works best for me. Shop around for what works for you, you are worth it.

When you say MD I am not sure what you mean. Major depression?

Unfortunately psychiatrist have just become med dispensers. They only deal with the meds side of things. Meds can be very helpful but they are not the whole answer. Therapist have taken over the role that psychiatrist used to play. The image of laying on the couch and getting psycho analyzed is a thing of the past. There are many forms of therapy available today. I would suggest getting a therapist as well.

There are also many causes of depression. Genetic, biological, situational, past trauma, abuse, neglect, loss and grief, etc. It is very helpful with a therapist to pinpoint the underlying causes of the depression so as to better understand how to treat it.

Welcome! I'm pretty new to PC too, and I've found I really like it here, and I hope you do too I also have MDD (first episode occurred when I was 8) and was only diagnosed last year, 11 years later. I empathize with you a lot, with depression and anxiety. I'm sorry what you've had to go through. If there's any way I can help, or if you just need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

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I am new here too. Dealing with depression and not really knowing how to handle life much right now. Have not been seeing the bright side for some time. One thing I think that I can be though is a pretty good sounding board, so feel free to vent to me at anytime. I think everyone needs to release at some point.

Best Wishes,

Welcome to PC

Thank you so much for all of your replies!! It feels good to know that there are folks out there that understand what it is like. I will be getting a referral from my doc for a therapist. And I will keep trying them till I do find one that feels right for me. Been allowing this to go on for too long. Ready to see what I can do to make this better. My 12 y/o daughter told me today that she was worried about me. (my kids don't live with me) She wants to see my smile again.

Man oh man it is amazing how at 12 y/o can put it just like it need to be said.

Not at all I ordered The Feeling Good Handbook that this site recommends. Its really the first book that I am going to try. More of a direct approach at changing my outlook and pushing my depression back.

Sorry, I should have been a bit clearer on this. I have a form of muscular dystrophy. It's a odd form. Luckily it is the sort that will not shorten my life or permanently put me in a wheelchair. It does however affect my mobility. When I keep it controlled with diet the worst it does is cause fatigue to come out of no where. At its worse, it can make me where I can't even stand. A full blown paralysis. That was the case for me growing up. Since the doctors couldn't figure it out and the fact I seem complete fine between attacks is why they wrote me off at making it up.

I sure will Cherry! Thanks

Again, thanks for the thoughts and kind words.

Do you think the MD contributes to your depression?

Hello and welcome!

There is no doubt. Perhaps not causing it, but it set the stage for my mindset that allowed the depression to start. It effected the vary stain of my life. My whole life there was something wrong and nobody other than family believed me. Being a small kid not being able to walk and all I wanted to do was go out at play. grrr

I have felt for a long time that I wasn't give a full measure of life like others have. I see them party and "waste" such a gift they have been giving when there are times I have to struggle just to have the energy to goto work to support myself and my kids. I had to figure out what was wrong with me and how to help it with my diet. They doctors where really no help and they really seemed not to care.

I can do anything others can do. AKA I love to hike and want to long distance hike. I just can't quite do the same about of distance they can and there are time that I just have to set down to take a break because I will have a sudden wave of exhaustion wash over me. And I have to watch my steps closer when climbing cause my muscles will cramp causing me to fall. So I know I can do things. So I feel like the so tired that I don't want to do anything is comming from the depression.

Wow sorry about the rant there. Back to your question that shows it. Its a def yes. It set the stage for SO much. I live with it, I have too cause it will never go away. I just have to find people that understand my physical limits and are ok with them and believe them. (which is hard and I spend almost all my time alone but that is another issue)

Rock on everyone! You guys are great!

Smiles all around we deserve them.

I can very well see how it would and figured as much. I cannot relate to your MD and the physical limitations as I don't have it and am physically healthy.

I can however say I know what it is like to have a life long illness. I have had depression since 7th grade and I am now 50. I have tried everything and nothing I have tried has been very effective. In fact in recent years it has gotten much worse. It has been very difficult to accept that I will never find a cure and that even my symptoms are not lessened by meds or treatment. I have a chronic long term disease that I will probably have my whole life and my only choice is to learn to manage it and live with it. I don't see overcoming it. I don't have to let it define me. I can fight it with dignity and courage. Thats the best I got right now.