I think my mom is right when I'm a waste of life. I may be smart in school but I effin' suck when it comes to communication with other people and understanding simple orders.

Last Friday night, my friend and I were going to volunteer at the last shift for a concession stand, so we planned that her dad was going to take us because my brother had a basketball game. Well, then my mom changed the plans: she and my brother would go with someone else to his game and then my friend's dad would drop us off. Being a simple-minded person I was, I could never solve mix-ups and complicated situations in life, so I was an idiot of messing this plan up. I ended forcing my dad to leave my friend's house and to go with my friend's dad who had come back from shopping or working.

My mom now just yelled at me for being a motherf***ing b*itch I was, and how anyone would be that stupid and slow to not realize anything. She really wants to get rid of me, and I would gladly accept that departure. I don't know what to do! I really want to talk to someone about my mental problems. I don't know if it's lack of sleep or maybe depression! I can't be the young, healthy, alert, beautiful girl that my mom always wanted. I mean, there are most times when I am super clumsy or stupid that my mom and dad say I should kill myself. I think I should, ever since from 5th grade, but I thought, "I'm not letting these murderers take my life..."

What should I even do at this point? Why do I feel like I need a brain scan or something?? I want to be smart like others, not just in school.

[LaborIntensive]

Your mother needs some serious help! Tell someone about this.

My mother is like you. She is very forgetful and simple. But she was very loving and tried so hard. I get frustrated with her and did as a child because I couldn't figure out for a long time why it seemed I as becoming so much more intelligent (assuming that adults should all be intelligent already).

Hang in there. Sometimes you have to love you even when others do not.

[Hellion]

Sorry you have to deal with such intolerance. I also did pretty good with school except for math but I have simular sorts of issues...I get easily confused by changes of plans and can be slow to understand it.

Also if your parents are telling you to kill yourself that is abusive, I don't want to stress you out too much but you may need help with that situation because it can't be healthy might be worth talking to someone like if theres a counseler at school...being in a situation like that certainly does not help mental health.

As for now try not to beat yourself up over this, you're not pathetic and useless just because you have some mental difficulties...that's just crap these toxic people have beat into your head but try not to believe it.

[Faking sane]

People are realizing more and more that emotional abuse if far worse than physical abuse. Report this to a teacher at school. It is not OK to break a child's spirit!

Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

[depressedalaskan]

(((Lucky Wishbone))) I am very very sorry for what you are going through. Remember you can vent here anytime. I can't answer what is happening to you but I can say that my depression does this to me. I hate myself for these brain farts. It drives me crazy to be so confused. The heavier my depression the more confused I become. It really is hard not to be able to make up my mind or remember things.
How you are being treated is awful. I am so sorry. Theses kinds of things also feed my depression. Is there anywhere you can go for help? Many people do not understand depression or how it makes us feel. I believe a counselor would be able to help you and your family.

Originally Posted by LaborIntensive

Your mother needs some serious help! Tell someone about this.

My mother is like you. She is very forgetful and simple. But she was very loving and tried so hard. I get frustrated with her and did as a child because I couldn't figure out for a long time why it seemed I as becoming so much more intelligent (assuming that adults should all be intelligent already).

Hang in there. Sometimes you have to love you even when others do not.

My mom does love me and I like her, too, but not in a way for me to say "I Love You" to my parents nor my brother. I think it's a sick expression that spills out like oil from a mouth, so I guess I'm just alive for their sake ._. I do understand that she can be quite a greedy pig, but I do have a bond with my mom. Thanks for pointing that out, even though I tend to try to ignore the fact that my mom is trying to help me out~

Originally Posted by Hellion

Sorry you have to deal with such intolerance. I also did pretty good with school except for math but I have simular sorts of issues...I get easily confused by changes of plans and can be slow to understand it.

Also if your parents are telling you to kill yourself that is abusive, I don't want to stress you out too much but you may need help with that situation because it can't be healthy might be worth talking to someone like if theres a counseler at school...being in a situation like that certainly does not help mental health.

As for now try not to beat yourself up over this, you're not pathetic and useless just because you have some mental difficulties...that's just crap these toxic people have beat into your head but try not to believe it.

I do like my family, but I guess it's because I can't be a normal teenage girl (the one who has that upbeat personality or flits through the fields like a butterfly) that my parents wanted me to be. It's like they gave birth to the wrong child! But I know they're trying to raise me into a better person, but sometimes I wish they would calm down! They don't believe that something's wrong with me, they just think I'm being stupid! I really don't want to school counselors, for some reason, because I feel like I'm a burden to these kinds of people. I want a professional psychiatrist, but it's hard to find a trustworthy one in my area

[Idiot17]

you're not being a burden by approaching a school counselor Be kind to yourself and try to speak to one. perhaps they can help you find a right pyschiatrist.
((((((luckywishbone))))))))

[TheOriginalMe]

I guess there is a bit of a vicious circle going on here. The more your parents shout at you, the more "mistakes" you make and the more "mistakes" you make the more your parents shout. The more you're shouted at, the more stupid you feel, but you are NOT stupid, you are just reacting to a stressful situation. If you can figure out a way of breaking the cycle then perhaps things will improve, being yelled at and verbally abused isn't healthy for you or your parents. That's where a counsellor might be able to help you.

There is no such thing as a normal teenage girl, and I'm sure you're fine just the way you are, that's something for your parents to work on and not for you to change.

I think that the problems you're having need to be dealt with as family, but if you can't see that happening perhaps you just need to spend as much time with your friends as you can, putting a little distance between you and your family might just relieve the tension a bit. Do you get on OK with your brother, can he support you in all of this?