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  #1  
Old Apr 06, 2014, 07:16 AM
Anonymous33211
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I think I have gone through everything now and there really is nobody who can help me to not be me.
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  #2  
Old Apr 06, 2014, 08:26 AM
Anonymous37807
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Illegal toilet, I feel the same way.
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  #3  
Old Apr 06, 2014, 09:01 AM
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Frankbtl Frankbtl is offline
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Hi Illegal, I'd say that it's really important to remember that YOU are NOT your depression. It can be so easy for you and others to let it define you and to become "lost" under it all, but it is what it is, and you are who you are. I can completely understand if it feels like this is all there is and there's nothing else, but you are there beneath it.
I'm really sorry that no-one seems to have given you the help you need yet. Sometimes it can take a lot of "hanging in there", and perseverance in the face of things until something/someone helps you to start breaking down those walls a little better.
And you know, sometimes that something/someone can be found in the least expected places.
Maybe try to stay open to looking at/trying different things (it may all seem a bit hopeless right now, but hope can come with the smallest of things if you can just grasp onto it and not let go) whether it's one YouTube video out of thousands, whether it's identifying with someone else specifically, whether it's one thing you hear/see in a cacophony which resonates with you it can be the start of something different.
It can be a really long, hard road to feeling better, but as long as you're on it you're giving yourself the chance you deserve to allow yourself to just be you without the depression stifling you.
Alison
Thanks for this!
NWgirl2013
  #4  
Old Apr 06, 2014, 12:08 PM
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yumi yumi is offline
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I honestly feel the same way all I can do is isolate right now so I don't end up causing more pain for my loved ones. It kills me, tho
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  #5  
Old Apr 06, 2014, 01:28 PM
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  #6  
Old Apr 06, 2014, 01:36 PM
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I hope that I am not coming off as impolite, but is it logic and actuality that is talking, or is it your depression/mental illness talking?

Personally I am always of two minds: one that knows what is the truth, and the other that is what I am feeling at the moment. So maybe separating the facts from the feelings could help you some.

Sending hugs and luv your way.
Thanks for this!
NWgirl2013
  #7  
Old Apr 06, 2014, 02:12 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Illegal Toilet View Post
I think I have gone through everything now and there really is nobody who can help me to not be me.
...time to embrace YOU, yourself...the others are taken, thank goodness.
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/ the bones of that word mend slowly...' marie harris


  #8  
Old Apr 06, 2014, 07:00 PM
Idiot17 Idiot17 is offline
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know you're not alone in feeling such. ((((((illegaltoilet)))))))
  #9  
Old Apr 06, 2014, 07:09 PM
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Me either ((( IT ))). I hope this is just a phase.
  #10  
Old Apr 06, 2014, 09:24 PM
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I think smmath nailed it. I feel like I have two minds, one that knows the truth, and the other that feels and tells me a different story. My question is, how do we shut off the part of our minds that make us feel this way? Any suggestions that could help?

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  #11  
Old Apr 06, 2014, 10:38 PM
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(((((Lion)))))
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  #12  
Old Apr 06, 2014, 11:02 PM
Anonymous33211
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Thanks to all for your advice.

Part of it is circumstantial, but i think the circumstances were created because of depression and anxiety in the first place. The other part is my current depression too, I perceive the situation as being particularly untenable because of my mood disorder.

At this stage I am thinking of suicide, really. I don't see any reason to continue (but I probably will go on i guess).
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  #13  
Old Apr 06, 2014, 11:16 PM
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Are you on any meds? Could a med change help at all?

I have done my fair share of thinking about sui, and I think that it is important to talk about those feelings and see how risky they are. You deserve support.

If you don't mind me asking, what are the circumstances that you are currently in?
  #14  
Old Apr 06, 2014, 11:25 PM
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Hi Illegal, I know you are going through a very difficult moment, but please, do not let the monster of depression talk to you about suicide. You are a very valuable person, and I'm sure there are many people that love you. Give them a chance to help you my friend. You are not alone on this one. I too feel hopeless, but I hang in there because of the people I love and who love me back. Hope this helps my friend. You can always reach out to us, remember, we are going through very similar challenges. Hugs, love & peace to you, always

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  #15  
Old Apr 07, 2014, 05:24 AM
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You are not alone in your battle. Heres an article from PC that might help.



Depression and Alcoholism: Five Tips for Recovery | Psych Central
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Nammu
…Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. …...
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  #16  
Old Apr 07, 2014, 05:57 AM
Anonymous33211
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smmath View Post
Are you on any meds? Could a med change help at all?

I have done my fair share of thinking about sui, and I think that it is important to talk about those feelings and see how risky they are. You deserve support.

If you don't mind me asking, what are the circumstances that you are currently in?
I guess I don't feel that I can run my life to a satisfactory level. Getting a job, making friends, having an interest in something . . . these things seem beyond me. All I do is try and pass the time and think about how inept I am in certain key areas.
  #17  
Old Apr 07, 2014, 08:45 AM
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I feel the same way. I have become to think that I'll have to accept the depression is here for good. I feel there is no escape. No choices left. You are not alone.
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  #18  
Old Apr 07, 2014, 01:23 PM
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Frankbtl Frankbtl is offline
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Hi Illegal, I'd say that sometimes the definitions of "satisfactory" need to be changed when you're suffering from depression. So even doing very basic tasks can not only be satisfactory but can be fantastic if your feeling really "low". Maybe review your expectations on yourself a bit for now? I'm not even saying lower your expectations, just adjust them to the way you're feeling.
You know even doing the smallest of things can sometimes feel like you're climbing a mountain, so if you've managed something like that then give yourself real credit for it. That is way better than satisfactory!!
As for the getting a job, making friends, having an interest in something that can still come, just give yourself a some time and understanding and get/use all the help you can to gradually (may take plenty of time but...........) come closer to achieving some of those things.
Alison
  #19  
Old Apr 08, 2014, 12:25 AM
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If you are thinking about how lacking you seem to be, then maybe doing the opposite would be beneficial. For example try engaging in positive self talk and find what things you are good at, what makes you a good person, and go from there. I think that attempting to change your perspective on things and the way you think about your life might help you.

I apologize for sounding like I am talking at you. That is not my intention. I wish I could give you better advice, but it is what it is.

Let me know if you ever want to talk. Sending hugs your way.
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