[SparkyCat]

I just cannot do this. I'm useless and hopeless and weak and stupid. I'm not strong enough. I'm just endlessly, endlessly waiting for help. I want to scream at the world "I am not okay!".

I just want to disappear from the world. Everything would be better off. My parents think that I just need to want to get better. Do they think that I want to feel like this?

The arguments, the rows, the filthy looks if I dare to look at all upset. If I have the cheek to have a panic attack. That me having a half-decent half-hour means that I've been over-dramatising everything for however long, making a big deal out of it when I'm actually okay.

I can't do this. I'm not good enough. I don't deserve to be well. I'll just throw it away.

[littlemiss44]

You do deserve to be well! Yr family's lack of support just makes it all worse. I'm so sorry yr struggling right now. We would love to feel better of course! We don't want to feel this way. The world does need you even if you feel like it doesn't. Do you see a good t and pdoc? Are you on a good med regimen? We care here.

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk

[SparkyCat]

I'm waiting for therapy and have been for weeks and weeks, and am still at least 3 weeks of getting onto High Intensity, let alone getting an appointment. My GP has decided that I only need to go to him, that I'm not "severe enough" to require a psych referral, and we're still figuring out my meds. I'm currently in the process of changing from Sertraline to Venlafaxine. My dad thinks I'm stupid for ever having gone onto meds. I don't have anything specifically for my anxiety despite having mentioned it a few times. I opened up to my parents yesterday and all the response I got was that they couldn't see the point as all it is is more for them to worry about...they're dragging me out to do things, which is good...to a point. It's just not helping.

[regretful]

Depression scares the people that care about us. I can empathize with the feelings of others apparently telling you that you are not trying hard enough; I've heard that from my wife from time to time. It's a long road; getting other people to understand your depression is often next to impossible - unless, of course, they suffer with it too. That, as littlemiss noted, is why we're all here - we suffer with this horrible affliction, and we really do care. Please keep coming back...none of us deserve this, and all of us deserve to feel some relief.

[SparkyCat]

It's scary, and I'm frightened. I don't know what to do, how to cope. Everyone seems to ask me what I want them to do, what would help me. The truth is that I just don't know, I feel lonely, trapped, and scared. Clueless and worthless.

[Altered Moment]

Originally Posted by SparkyCat

It's scary, and I'm frightened. I don't know what to do, how to cope. Everyone seems to ask me what I want them to do, what would help me. The truth is that I just don't know, I feel lonely, trapped, and scared. Clueless and worthless.

Tell them that all you need from them is-
To listen
To accept you exactly as you are anxiety depression and all
To not judge you
To educate themselves on what this disease is really all about
To help you get the help you need like a T and a doc and meds
And to mostly leave you the hell alone.

If they ask that is what you want them to do. Tell em straight up.

[SparkyCat]

I've tried, I really have...I'm going to try talking to them again over the next few days but it's so hard. I feel like I'm just being isolated from them, more and more, and like I'll have to isolate myself for the sake of my own health.

[rhcpfan713]

I feel the exact same way you do. Every day it's the same. I hate my job and it makes me miserable, but if i quit, i'll just have even more free time to.. BE MISERABLE. I'm bored all the time, and I just can't find the beauty in life anymore.. my parents are getting so tired of hearing me complain, yet they are the ones who ask me to "share how i'm feeling" .... this feeling is unbearable

[Altered Moment]

Originally Posted by SparkyCat

I've tried, I really have...I'm going to try talking to them again over the next few days but it's so hard. I feel like I'm just being isolated from them, more and more, and like I'll have to isolate myself for the sake of my own health.

Well the sad fact is some people are never going to get it and don't know how to help even family. If they really want to help and don't just want you better for selfish reasons then maybe they will listen to you. It is hard to tell people what we need but a good start is trying to figure out what we do need.

Sounds like maybe you will have to find a support network outside you family. Its hard and takes time but they are out there. So often I will just tell someone I suffer from depression and they will say hey I do to. If I didn't mention it I would have never known. There are many of us out there.

[Idiot17]

((((((sparkycat))))))))
I hope your family will understand once you try to explain but whether they do or don't, don't despair.
Good luck.

[SparkyCat]

((rhc)) ((Zinco)) ((Idiot17))
It's the hypocrisy that's get me. They'll ask me to share what's up, to be honest with them, and they just don't want to hear the answer. I've got a bit of a support network outside family it's just that they're on the other side of the country while I'm stuck with my parents for a week. I have tried to reach out to people, it's just hard.