[nightdream]

I was invited to a kind of gathering the other night. At first I didn't wanted to go but then I never go out of my house so I thought well maybe this would be good for me since it was between old friends.

But something happened while I was there. 2 of the ladies got in an arguement. It got out of control, they started yelling, one of the lady was hitting her fits on the table. This was so disturbing, so upsetting.

Then the other ladies turned to me for guidance because one of the lady that was fighting, I have stopped almost 3 years ago from killing herself and we all reliased that probably her medications didn't work anymore because she was really out of control. But I can't do this right now. I can't take that kind of responsibility. I am struggling very hard myself. So I just walked out of there.

Now I keep asking myself why did it upset me so much? Why couldn't I find in myself the strenght to help her? It's so stupid of me! I feel so worthless and I hate myself.

nightdream

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Nightdream}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} It's okay to know that you can't take something upsetting at any given time. You're right. You have enough to handle on your own. First and foremost, you have a responsibility to yourself. You took good care of yourself by just walking out. You can't be responsible for other's behavior even when things are good. Please, please don't beat yourself up about it. You did the right thing.

(Hmm... look who's talking. )

Love you!

<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

[dexter]

nightdream

septmorn is absolutely right.

there could be many reasons that the situation upset you. could have triggered something from your past, could be simply that you were looking for a calming uneventful evening out and this fight interfered.

in any case she is not your responsibility. you are your responsibility. It was kind of you to help her in the past but if circumstances make you unable or uncomfortable to do so now then what you have to do is take care of yourself now. both because you may not have the energy to help her, and because trying to help her might cause you addition stress that you need to avoid now.

i wouldn't worry too much about why it triggered you. if you are concerned about it then bring it up with your doc just for your peace of mind. but not because you owe anyone else an explanation, because you don't. please don't feel "stupid" or "worthless" just for recognizing your limits. knowing when to say no for your own well being shows some smarts and shows that you value yourself which is number 1. following through with that shows a lot of strength.

if you need to, want to, have an opportunity to talk to these people soon or this woman in particular be honest about not being able to help. if you talk to her you can recommend that she seek help or get back on her meds but ONLY if it won't open the door for you caring for her again right now. be honest with her that you can't be there right now. if this is likely to be emotional then don't say anything to her or anyone. like i said she is NOT your responsibility and you don't owe anyone an explanation. if you feel you owe yourself an explanation, as to the root of the feelings that were stired up, then that is something you can pursue on your own if you want to.

unless it is bugging you, i wouldn't worry about it at all, just accept the situation as aggravating (it was an event that would be stressful to anybody, i'm sure the other people there didn't know what to do!) plus you have some history with the woman and that is reason enough to get upset and walk away.

{{{{{nightdream}}}}}

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

[LadyDragus]

Never feel stupid for putting yoru needs frist..

you did what you thougth was best for you..
YOu could not handle the fact she wanted your help, and you know sweetie, I do not blame you. they are adults they started it.. Let them finish it.. You will not always be around to help them.. And they are not always around to help you? Right?

<font color=purple>
world.. You are no longer going to rule me.. "I" I am going to rule myself"

[nightdream]

Thank you all for your replies and caring!

I couldn't get it out of my mind because I know if nobody close to her don't reliase clear enough where this lady stand right now, her life might be in danger.

I called her husband today and told him to watch her more closely. But I didn't knew if my words has come through to him since he doesn't have depression and it's hard for him to understand or to see how importance this is. So I didn't took any chance and I also called her daughter. Her daughter doesn't live with her but she said she will check more often on her mother.

Now I'm steping back. I know for right now I can't do more because of where I stand myself. I will only hope everything will go all right for her.

Thank you for reussuring me that I'm doing the right thing. I'm very glad that I have find this place with so much caring kind people because I don't have anyone else to support me.

Again thank you!
nightdream

[dexter]

it is a very hard position to be in when you know that for your own sanity you have to back off a bit, but also fearing there might be serious consequences.

it seems like you have done a very good job, you know where your boundries are and what you can do. i hope it works out ok. in the end this woman's problems are her responsibility and if her husband won't it isn't necessarily your place in the universe to step in for him. it is great that you are able to help a little and offer a "head's up" to those around her. it is up to them and to her to follow through.

they are in my thoughts as are you, and i hope everything turns out well. mostly i am just impressed with how well you are dealing with it, i know it must be very hard and stressful.

-- The world is what we make of it --
-- Dave
-- <A target="_blank" HREF=http://www.idexter.com>http://www.idexter.com</A>

[heatherm]

{{{{{{{{{{nightdream}}}}}}}}}}}

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. Don't feel worthless hun...you did the right thing. I would have done the same.


Heather

[nightdream]

Thank you all for your kindness and caring! It means a lot to me!

I really appreciate your support and your understanding!

hugs to all of you!
nightdream

[nightdream]

((((((((((((((((SkyBdark))))))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((((((Fuzzy)))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you for caring!
nightdream