[mads222]

I have been struggling with extreme depression & anxiety for years. I've been hospitalized 6 times since January 1st. Adding up all the admissions, i've probably spent about a month and a half in hospital altogether. I'm under 18, and the hospital in my city does not have a psych unit for kids or adolescents, so I was put in the general pediatric unit(Which is for medical problems.) So I got no help from being there, besides feeling safe. Lately, it seems as though my problems are getting worse. I have been having "episodes" of hearing voices, seeing things, and just feeling out of it. During these episodes I usually scream, swear, utter threats(that im serious about), pull weapons on my family, and just have a general hatred for the entire human race. I don't know whats going on. A few hours after I have an "episode" I recognize that the things I saw, heard, felt, etc were *probably* not real. But it feels real during the episode. Since my last hospitalization in early March, i've been to the ER 6 times for suicidal & homicidal thoughts, hoping to be admitted again. Most of the doctors and nurses know me now, and they have all ganged up on me and have written notes saying when I present in the ER, they assess me, then send me home. It literally says in capital letters "DO NOT ADMIT." One of the nurses said I need to stop my "attention seeking behaviours" and deal with the feelings myself instead of going to the hospital.

What am I supposed to do for help? If they don't want me admitted(Because I don't have any medical problems), why won't they transfer me out of town to a youth psychiatric facility? One time in the ER I was losing it and said "WELL MAYBE MY PARENTS WILL JUST REFUSE TO TAKE ME HOME BECAUSE THEY KNOW I NEED HELP." But the nurse said if my parents ever refuse to take me home from the ER, I won't be getting admitted or going to a psychiatric unit. I would be going to a foster home.

I speak to 2 counsellors, i've seen a psychiatrist and i'm on an anti-depressant(Which seems to be making my problems worse.)

Why doesn't anybody want to help me? What should I do?

[MarkNoo11]

Who is telling you this stuff? If it is a nurse, doctor, pyschiatrist, etc. see what their ethical duties are. In America doctors have the AMA and pyschiatrists have the APA. Read the codes applicable to your country. If they are violating their own ethical code report them. All professional associations should look into ethics complaints. The professional ethics committee will almost certainly be staffed by people outside of the hospital. That would put a fresh set of eyes on your diagnoses and what has been done with you.
In America if you tell a medical professional you want to hurt yourself or someone else it triggers a response. I am not sure but I think if they believe you (in America) they have to hold you.
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Are you asking them for drugs? If they think you are drug seeking that is a possible reason for them to refuse admittance. Anyway, check their professional associations ethics. If they are not in compliance, report it.

[waiting4]

Agreed. And even if they DON'T believe you, they have to hold you for 72 hours (in most states)...this is mostly because they don't want to get sued if they let you go and you do harm yourself or someone else.

[Perna]

I would find a place you would like to go that you think would help you and talk to your regular psychiatrist/counselors about it: Child and Youth Mental Health Resources in British Columbia, Canada Trying to "get into" the hospital there, where they cannot help you, does not sound useful. Work with the people you have now to get what you want instead of just banging your head against a system that does not work for you over and over.

[yumi]

Wow,I'm really sorry this is happening to you I really hope you are able to find a facility that will take you.

[Hellion]

That's ridiculous....seems very unethical on their part. There is nothing 'attention seeking' about going to the hospital when you're worried you might cause harm to yourself or others. How old are you? Are your parents supportive and know whats going on with you or not so much?

You should talk to your counsellors and psychiatrist about it, they might be able to help but you have to be honest about it and not try to downplay things or they won't know you need as much help as you do.

[Nammu]

If the antidepressants are making things worse talk to(or have your parents talk to) your doctor about mood stabilizers instead. Ask your parents to look up and show the doctors and ER staff the dangers of antidepressants in children under 21.

I see you are in canada, I dont know much about how it works up there but dont understand why they refuse to have you evaluated at a children's psych unit, that part doesn't make sense. Ask your parents to call one of those psych hospitals and ask for help.

[Pierro]

I am so sory that someone should go through this at such an early age and not get help. Doctors and the like have taken an oath to do the best for their patients. Can I ask what about your primary care physician. What is his/her input into your care. I do hope that you find the help you need. Please let us know how you are getting on. Keep posting.

I emphatize. I was kicked out of the youth psychiatric hospital for being too suicidal. (and for doing three suicide attempts while there - that they know of) I'm in partial hospitalization now but I was almost kicked out of that too for doing a suicide attempt while being there.

I really don't have any advice I can offer because I'm also looking for something that helps.

((((mads222))))