[mikeysmom322]

I have been suffering from depression and hearing voices for 5 years. I have been on almost every medication but they don't really do much for me besides keep me alive. I have tried looking for jobs but nothing has stuck yet. I have even looked for a volunteer job but I have not heard back. My family lives in NY and I am in S. Florida with my mother and son. My mother gets very angry at me when I spend my days crying on the couch. I can't help it though. I am very depressed and I cry every day. Her side of the family does not speak to me, even my cousins that I grew up with. Ever since I got a divorce and the craziness that goes with that in 2006. My mom speaks to her sister about me because she worrys so much, but my Aunt pretty much tells everyone in the family my business, and they don't talk to me. When they see me once or twice a year they are nice but I think they talk about me behind my back, tell stories and think I am a loser. If they just called me up to say hello or see how im feeling it would make my day, but they don't even return phone calls and it's not because I dump my problems on them, they hear stories from my aunt. She tells her 2 daughters and it trickles down. Need help

Hey Mikeysmom, I wanted to reply to your post and share, if it helps the worries caused by the situation you are in. I do have depression quite badly and gave been dealing with it since secondary school, and no matter what age you are the last thing we want to do is annoy our mums. I have done this almost everyday for ten years due to the over crying, self induced isolation and eating disorders stemming from the diagnosis.

However, like you, experiencing unsupportiveness and negativity from family my dad cannot understand my illness although im sure its his gene which caused this, and treats me like rubbish and makes fun of it in a way which nobody can really see except me. I thought it was just my mind being paranoid as usual but if you have an instinct that your family are talking about you, they probably are because they don't understand it unless they have experienced it. dont worry and I have posted this story to show you that people everywhere are suffering similarly and this website is full of people who will support you if you want to talk about it. Have you tried the chatrooms?

Fem xxx

[Travelinglady]

Oh, mikeysmom322, I am so sorry. I see they do not understand that depression can be a biochemical problem and not something that just gets brought on because we are feeling sorry for ourselves.

I don't think I can do anything to help you with your relatives, since they have evidently made up their minds and are being blankety-blanks about it.

I encourage you to start going to see a therapist. Then you will be able to talk about them behind their backs, plus get some practical help from a professional. I am bipolar, so I have been depressed, and I find that talking to a therapist is good. Would you consider that?

[kaliope]

I am sorry that you have no support from your family. it is sad that your mother has to talk about you and feed the rumor mill as this is to your detriment. are you seeing a therapist for support to help you thru this? are you correctly diagnosed? I was hearing voices and it turned out it wasn't psychosis. I am with a really good therapist now who has listened and diagnosed me with dissociative disorder. the voices are other parts of me that are just trying to be heard. the anxiety and depression are a result of them not being heard. it is worth looking into with the right professional. my anxiety has been greatly reduced with the right treatment. I can even go days without my anti anxiety meds now. I hope you can find yourself a support system. check into a nami support group in your area so you have someone to talk to. take care.

[Frankbtl]

Hi mikeysmom, I'm really sorry you're going through this. It must see like so much for you to cope with, especially with those around you not really understanding what you're going through and seeming so unsupportive.
As for your mother you know, we know, it's not just a choice you're making to feel so down as to be crying every day, and it certainly isn't a case of "pull yourself together".
And if you need a little more distance from her (I take it you've triied to explain what's going on for you) even if only emotionally, then that would be completely understandable.
As for the other members of your family who you'd like to contact you/return your calls, maybe you could talk to them a little about the way you're feeling, just a little?? Then they've not only got your "side of the story" (not gossip) but they also have the opportunity to offer you a little support too. But if you find it difficult on the phone maybe try e-mail if possible???
I'm just wondering if you're feeling quite isolated in where you live though, from people directly around you?? Now I know it might seem so hard, even to think of, "getting out more" when you're feeling the way you do. But maybe one, two (?) extra activities a week out there?? And they can start real small e.g. in going for a walk where you'll try to nod to, briefly chat to someone along the way??
Really got to commend you on the effort you've put into looking for a job though, and keep on going!!! It might take time, it might take a lot of time but unless you keep on trying........
But right now maybe focus on something/s for you, something/s however little that might help you in feeling better (even if that's asking your mother to "please, be quiet and listen for a change.........."!! ).
As for the medications though, sometimes it can be a really long road to finding medications that work for you, don't give up (!!) but is it a consideration to try another doctor if you've been on so many medications already and............?
And then again it makes me wonder if your current doctor hasn't changed/altered medications too quickly if you've been on so many in the period of 5 years?? Unless side effects..............?
Anyway here for you if you want to talk
Alison

[mikeysmom322]

I talk to a therapist and my mother is going to see him tomorrow. I arrainged for them to talk. I long for a normal life. No more sadness , no more pain.

[Bigmike727]

Hi, I'm sorry that your family does not quite understand what you're going through. Sometimes people will never understand something until they actually experience it for themselves. Anyways, I wish you the best.