Zombie nation

I feel like a zombie today, I need a full nights sleep but it just isn't happening lately. I just got back from seeing my T. What a waste that was. I needed for someone to hear me, but I didn't speak. I only have myself to blame for that. How hard can it be to just open my damn mouth?? My T kept asking me if I was pissed off, apparently I was coming across as a sulky teenager. Unsurprisingly it was a shorter session than usual, there wasn't exactly any point in dragging it out. Now I think of it I guess I do feel annoyed, don't ask me why. I don't have a clue. I am just so over this. The day has only just started and I have no idea how I'm gonna get through it.

I always had a problem opening my mouth to talk. I would so badly want to tell my t something but it refused to come out of my mouth. I've encountered many silent sessions where my t would just sit and wait for me to talk or try to get me to open up. I once told him that i have things to say yet idk why i clam up, he worked with that once he knew i really did want to speak.
Good luck.

Do you ever write down stuff to tell your T? Even if you just write down how frustrated you are now and save it for your next session. When I don't know why I feel something and get asked the inevitable "well what do you think has caused this?" I just say "If I knew the answer, I wouldn't be here and you wouldn't have a job!" That way I vent my frustration but they know I'm trying my best.

Your sleep will be affecting your mood, lack of sleep is horrible, it will make you irritable and put your brain into a fog. So you could tell your T that.

If you can get a little exercise today, set a clear goal in your mind for the time you want to finish online and texting, watching tv, etc and find something trashy to read. That usually helps settle me for sleep.

Perhaps you'd be more comfortable with a different T?

I hate that feeling. Want to talk and have important things to say, feel ashamed everytime I touch in the subject. I totaly hate being emocionaly close and open to anyone, whatever the person is.
I also hate the feeling that remains, the memories of the non-talking times during apointments.
You can allways say here what you want to. It helps.

Hi Secretwhisper: I'm so sorry you're still feeling so down... wish there was something I could say. Just know that you are in my thoughts.

What I experience, with regard to this is: I don't have difficulty talking. But I seem to be unable to be honest. Going into my appointments with my , I'll have every intention of being forthright with regard to how I'm doing. But once I get in there, I slap the old smile on my face & proceed to make everything sound at least satisfactory if not downright sunny I just don't seem to be able to do anything else. It can be maddening!

I used to be on a different forum to this and would take stuff I had written there for him to read. That was back when I first started therapy though and it seems silly if I do it again now. I do on occasion but it's rare now. Maybe I should take something with me next time as a back up plan just in case I find I can't talk again!

I am comfortable with my T, I've been seeing him for about a year and a half now and we get on fine. It was just an off day on my part. I was just too tired to care.

Honesty is a problem I have too. If they ask me a direct question where I can just say a simple yes or no I'll be honest and they will know exactly where I'm at. Ask me to elaborate and I will be very vague and not give anything away at all as to how bad things really are.

Hi Secretwhisper: I'm so sorry you're still feeling so down... wish there was something I could say. Just know that you are in my thoughts.

What I experience, with regard to this is: I don't have difficulty talking. But I seem to be unable to be honest. Going into my appointments with my , I'll have every intention of being forthright with regard to how I'm doing. But once I get in there, I slap the old smile on my face & proceed to make everything sound at least satisfactory if not downright sunny I just don't seem to be able to do anything else. It can be maddening!