Please Help

So I had a bridal shower for my friend today, whose wedding I'm in. My boyfriend's birthday was yesterday. We were supposed to go to dinner and drinks with his parents tonight, even though I had the shower during the day time today. I'm super uncomfortable with the people at the shower (I have major social anxiety and can barely handle social events). So I come home after the shower to go to dinner, and my boyfriend says I'm too drunk too go to dinner and literally leaves me just sitting here on the couch.........I feel like I can't win. I can't handle being around the people at the shower, so I had some drinks....apparently more than I was aware of. I don't know what to do. He's at dinner now with his parents and I'm sitting here alone, ashamed, embarrassed, and don't really know what to do. I feel pretty worthless right now.

I'm sobbing at my computer. It's embarrassing for me to even admit that, or admit there is a problem at all. I just don't get how I am supposed to go on pretending like I don't have a problem. He clearly has no idea how I feel. I guess I just don't see the point anymore.

Hey Ariel

It's normal what your feeling. I try to explain to May wife that I can't handle 2 big group gatherings on the same day... That it's too stressful for me. She understands and tries her best to space out these types of social events ...

Just got back from a big family dinner ... I'm drinking a bit of scotch just to calm my nerves a bit and recover... I can't imagine going out tonight in a big social gathering ... That would be way too stressful

I guess I'm stressing out because my boyfriend doesn't understand.... I'm just going to look like the terrible girlfriend.

Your way too hard on yourself. Conflicts and issues are normal in a relationship. This does not make you a terrible person or worthless. Your boyfriend has to understand that you can't plan social gatherings so close to each other. And yes you can just go out for dinner for his birthday once you feel better... Besides having dinner alone with your boyfriend is more intimate anyways

This will sound funny coming from a recovering alcoholic/addict but I actually think alcohol is an excellent anti anxiety med IF used responsibly and in small amounts. Safer than benzo's in my opinion. The problem is you just can't have three or four drinks in the middle of the day if you have to drive or function. It has a high potential for abuse but so do benzo's. I believe they act on the same receptors.

If you don't have an addictive personality and you have two drinks to treat social anxiety or general anxiety I don't think it is a big deal. If you have more than that or you drive than that creates problems.

Maybe you could use an anti anxiety med only as needed during the day for big social events and if you had a very difficult day have a few drinks at night to relax. There are some big IFs with me saying this though.

If I could drink safely I would probably use it in that way.

What would have happened if you had said to him that you could not handle two events on the same day, could we please pick another day?