[polkadotpixie]

Hi everyone, I haven't posted for a while but I feel like I need to write some stuff down, I would really appreciate any opinions

I have been depressed for as long as I can remember, some of the time its in the background but at the minute, for a few weeks now, I feel like its consuming me and my life entirely.

I have seen my doctor and have been taking the medication she prescribed for the last 4 weeks, Dosulepin 75mg/day. She thought that the sedative effect it has would be good for me because I don't sleep well and am agitated
apparently

For the first couple of weeks it was working with regards to helping my sleep but now its not working and I don't know what to do

I think I haven't really ever felt so depressed as now, I have felt worse with anxiety but never so low. Everything is too hard, getting up, holding a conversation, catching a bus...it exhausts me but I still can't sleep

I'm under a lot of pressure at work at the minute but I'm too tired, I'm reaching the point that I just don't care about the job I used to love. I want to quit and go to bed and stay there.

I dread going to sleep even though I'm desperate to, I can't bear the thought of waking up and having to face another day. I don't think I'm suicidal but I think about death a lot, I don't think I'd mind if I just didn't wake up one day but I don't have the energy or inclination to be actively suicidal

I just don't understand all of this, why after months of no medication (I was previously on Prozac 40mg/day last year) when I finally start taking medication again do I get worse and worse. I am on the waiting list for therapy but I am going to throw away my career if this doesn't get better soon

My doctor is sweet but she is just a GP not a specialist and I don't think she realises how bad I feel because I can't explain it in words and if I tell her about how much I dream about dying then she'll stop the Dosulepin because of it being easy to overdose on and what if it is actually working and its the only thing holding me up right now?

I'm just so tired and afraid and confused. I don't know what to do for the best. I don't want to worry my family so I tell them I'm fine when they ask

I don't think the Dosulepin is working but I asked her for Prozac (which worked better straight away before) and she says she thinks a tri-cyclic AD is a better option for me but didn't explain why.

I don't know what to do for the best, I can't think straight for long enought to make any kind of decision

Thanks everyone for letting me rant, its 1.20am so I guess I'd better go to bed and at least try to sleep. Thanks again

Polkadotpixie x

i might be in the minority, but i don't believe (from years of disappointment) that GPs know enough about psychiatry to diagnose and medicate us.

i understand your feeling so low as i was there about 6 weeks ago. i put myself back on prozac, 40mg daily, and am a new person. i was able to do that because i had saved a bottle when a doctor put me on a strange mixture and i refused to add the prozac to that mix. i then went to a Pdoc and he okayed the prozac. eventually, we will make some changes but i'm doing so well that i'm happy to be where i am.

if i can do anything more to help you, please let me know. i know exactly, i think, where you're at and it ain't pretty........xoxoxo pat

[Boopers]

((((((((((((((((((Polkadotpixie))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you are so depressed. It sounds like you need to go back on prozac.
I have been on prozac for quite awhile now plus wellbutrin and it seems to work better than any of the other anti-depressants I have taken.
Try to explain to her that it just isn't working and that you would really like to go back on prozac as you had much better luck with it.
I wish you all the best.
LInda

[purplemoon]

Polkadotpixie can you see a P doc? It is so hard to find the right medicine and everyone reacts so differently to different meds.Also sometimes meds work for a while and then stop. I took Paxil for a long time and it helped me quite alot but then it just didn't anymore - I didn't even realize it, someone pointed out to me that they didn't know why I bothered taking it because I wasn't getting any of the benefits. I have since swithched and it is so much better with the new antidepressant. Can you talk to your Dr. and ask to maybe try a new one if you can't see a pdoc? (((((((polkadotpixie)))))))

[polkadotpixie]

Thanks for your replies everyone, I have a couple of days off work now because I've torn a ligament in my foot..it hurts but at least i get to rest now so I feel a bit better

Purple moon; I would love to see a psychiatrist but I don't think the system works in the same way here in the UK, I think you have to be referred to one by your GP. I don't think she takes me seriously enough about the way I feel to do that and I have looked for a private one but I can only find therapists so I'm a bit stuck really

I don't know, I'm just so tired but only sleeping for 5 (disrupted) hours a night so I'm still not thinking too straight

I have an appointment with my doctor on the 18th so I guess I'll have to try again to get her to see the Dosulepin just isn't working for me and hopefully she'll give me something else

Thanks to everyone for your support

[sorrel]

pdp, I live in the UK, and my GP refered me to a psychiatrist for the sole purpose of sorting my medication. I was on efexor at the time, not sleeping, constantly anxious, freaking out in public, not eating...

I was reluctant at first, but he put me on mirtazpine (zispin) and for the first time in my life I am sleeping properly. The anxiety...varies, but its at a tolerable enough level to work through it in therapy.

After the initial consultation 4 sessions, I was discharged from the psychiatrist, back to my GP for the meds, with the agreement of my therapist, GP, then psychiatrist and myself.