[hoangv.pham]

I'm a teenager. I never have mental diagnosis before, so I don't know what mental problem I have, but I do know that I have mental illness of some kind. At first I thought it was depression, but I think there is more about it.

I have friends and a family. My parents worked hard to support my tuition, and they expected me to have good grades. They didn't have much time to talk with me. So I felt depressed, didn't eat for days, and even have suicidal actions. Then my family started to notice, and started expressing their love for me.

But now, there is something strange happen to me. I don't feel anymore. I just can't. I don't feel happy. I don't feel sad. I don't feel connected to anything except my gaming. My parents fear that playing video games might make the problem worse, so they try to to stop me. That's the only time I feel something. It's anger. I yell at them and make writhing positions to make them stop, and when they cry and beg me to stop, I just stare at them. I don't feel sad, not even a tear, even though I know that I should feel that way and stop. I don't want to do anything. I have no aim. I have no interests in anything except playing game. I don't know why. Maybe because it keeps my mind distracted. Now my parents and even my brother cry all the time because of me, and I can't do anything to change it. I start to think that maybe I should kill someone, so that they will lock me away and my family would never hear from me again, and similar thoughts about disappearing in many different ways. I know it would not help, but I can't stop thinking about it.

I didn't talk to anyone about it, I don't trust anyone. I don't know where to get professional help. So I come here and seek for help Please help me.

[pegasus]

Hello there, welcome to Psych Central!

It does sound like you are seriously depressed. If you are thinking of killing other people or yourself, that means you really do need to get some help. You need in real life support. You can call a crisis line Common Hotline Phone Numbers | Psych Central Please share with someone and get the help you need, life does not need to be this awful for you.

Hi Hoangv.pham: I want to echo what Pegasus has written. I don't know where you can find professional help in your country. But I would guess there is a hotline that you could call. If it's not in the listing on PC, as Pegasus suggests, there are other sources of hotline numbers for many different countries. If you let me know that you want the number, but can't find it, I will try to get it for you.

I know what you mean about your gaming addiction. I'm not a gamer. But I truly am addicted to the internet... & especially to PC! I just can't stay away! Anyway, good luck with this. Please try to find the courage to reach out to someone. And also, keep posting here on PC. Writing about your worries & fears can help.