I am now back home from the hospital, and sitting here in my lounge, listening to familiar noises, appreciating all of this rather than the drama and commotion from fellow patients.

My stay achieved the main thing of keeping me safe when I couldn't, but other than that I got nothing out of it. They haven't changed my medication because I was adamant on leaving today (I have an exam tomorrow! ) and so they wouldn't be able to keep an eye on things and see how I go. I just have to hope my own useless pdoc will see fit to change something, because clearly something isn't right.

I feel calmer for now, and not at risk, I'm not gonna trick myself into thinking I'm over it because I know I'm far from it. I just have to take one day at a time and hopefully learn from my mistakes this time and tell someone before it is too late....

Thank you everyone here, you've all been so supportive and lovely means a lot!

I'm just glad to be home

welcome back to the REAL nuthouse.

Welcome home, secretwhisper! Glad you're feeling safe.

Originally Posted by Useless Me

welcome back to the REAL nuthouse.

Haha that made me chuckle

[Fuzzybear]

[Pierro]

I agree with UselessMe, Life is a nuthouse. I am glad that you are feeling safe. Best wishes...

[greentires4me]

Welcome back to the comforts of Home!!

Originally Posted by Pierro

I agree with UselessMe, Life is a nuthouse. I am glad that you are feeling safe. Best wishes...

I think UM meant that PC is a nuthouse lol . . . maybe I'm wrong

[Momentofclarity]

Originally Posted by secretwhisper

I am now back home from the hospital, and sitting here in my lounge, listening to familiar noises, appreciating all of this rather than the drama and commotion from fellow patients.

My stay achieved the main thing of keeping me safe when I couldn't, but other than that I got nothing out of it. They haven't changed my medication because I was adamant on leaving today (I have an exam tomorrow! ) and so they wouldn't be able to keep an eye on things and see how I go. I just have to hope my own useless pdoc will see fit to change something, because clearly something isn't right.

I feel calmer for now, and not at risk, I'm not gonna trick myself into thinking I'm over it because I know I'm far from it. I just have to take one day at a time and hopefully learn from my mistakes this time and tell someone before it is too late....

Thank you everyone here, you've all been so supportive and lovely means a lot!

I'm just glad to be home

You say you didn't get anything out of it except that you were kept safe. To me that sounds good enough although you do seem much happier now than when you went there...

What do you mean by "tell someone before it is too late"? Tell someone irl about your depression? About the fact you felt like hurting yourself? pls elaborate....

I am glad you feel calm and glad to be home...

Secret, It's good to see you

Hi Secretwhisper: Yes... I remember coming home from the hospitals following hospitalizations. It was a good feeling mixed with a tinge of sadness. But I also remember that, as you say, they didn't really help much other than to keep me safe when there was some question as to whether or not I would do it myself. I do hope that you can manage to find some beneficial med changes with your pdoc. Hope your exam went well too!

Originally Posted by Momentofclarity

You say you didn't get anything out of it except that you were kept safe. To me that sounds good enough although you do seem much happier now than when you went there...

What do you mean by "tell someone before it is too late"? Tell someone irl about your depression? About the fact you felt like hurting yourself? pls elaborate....

I am glad you feel calm and glad to be home...

Yeah I meant I need to tell someone irl if it/when it gets to that stage again where all I can think of is hurting myself. Maybe if I hadn't left it so long things wouldn't have got so bad. But I never seem to learn from it so we'll see...

Originally Posted by The Skeezyks

Hi Secretwhisper: Yes... I remember coming home from the hospitals following hospitalizations. It was a good feeling mixed with a tinge of sadness. But I also remember that, as you say, they didn't really help much other than to keep me safe when there was some question as to whether or not I would do it myself. I do hope that you can manage to find some beneficial med changes with your pdoc. Hope your exam went well too!

I'm gonna have to wait a couple of weeks at least probably for any kind of med change...the pdoc is on holiday and not back until at least the end of next week and there is no cover for her!

Unfortunately I didn't make it to the exam, I got the time wrong so I missed it it's not the end of the world as I can rebook it, it's just a bit annoying!!

[waterknob1234]

Hi Secret. Glad you are home.

[sph123]

Originally Posted by secretwhisper

I am now back home from the hospital, and sitting here in my lounge, listening to familiar noises, appreciating all of this rather than the drama and commotion from fellow patients.

My stay achieved the main thing of keeping me safe when I couldn't, but other than that I got nothing out of it. They haven't changed my medication because I was adamant on leaving today (I have an exam tomorrow! ) and so they wouldn't be able to keep an eye on things and see how I go. I just have to hope my own useless pdoc will see fit to change something, because clearly something isn't right.

I feel calmer for now, and not at risk, I'm not gonna trick myself into thinking I'm over it because I know I'm far from it. I just have to take one day at a time and hopefully learn from my mistakes this time and tell someone before it is too late....

Thank you everyone here, you've all been so supportive and lovely means a lot!

I'm just glad to be home

Hi Secret, glad that you are home and safe. And thank you for sharing how you feel. Every day I read a post on this forum that resonates with my experiences and what is going on in my life and in my head -- and that comforts me a lot. Even though I feel alone, I know that I am not the only one feeling the same exact feelings as I do.

So thank you and again, welcome home.

[Momentofclarity]

Originally Posted by secretwhisper

Yeah I meant I need to tell someone irl if it/when it gets to that stage again where all I can think of is hurting myself. Maybe if I hadn't left it so long things wouldn't have got so bad. But I never seem to learn from it so we'll see...

Have you talked to anyone that you just were? If you ddo... and possibly tell someone that you might contact them next time you really need help...it might become easier to do so once it happens.

When I am in a big dark hole.... it doesn't really matter what I know is best for me... or what I've learned from my mistakes... it most of the time just doesn't make sense to me. Kinda feels like it's a different person.. So don't be to hard on yourself on that one.