[blipsycat]

I only had one friend in the entire world, and I treasure our friendship more on anything on the entire ****ING planet. But he didn't feel the same ****ing way, so he abandoned me and told me to **** off.

I have nothing to live for without him. I can't take all this abandonment in my life. EVERY SINGLE person I have ever cared about has abandoned me, and I cant ****ing take it anymore. I don't know what else to do anymore. i can't trust anybody, but i desperately need friends. It's a hopeless situation.

[pegasus]

You don't need friends like that blipsycat. A true friend wouldn't do that. So sorry you are hurting right now.

[gayleggg]

Sorry you got hurt by your friend, even though, true friends don't treat you like that. Don't give up. Finding a new friend could be anytime if you open your heart and greet people you meet. But give yourself time to grieve the loss of this one.

[Fuzzybear]

I'm sorry you were hurt by your "friend"

[eggplantlife]

I'm sorry for what happened to you. I only have 2 close friends. I do have fear that one day I would have none because of my depression and that I keep talking to them about it. But I still believe that there are good people. It's just that we don't connect in deeper levels. Some days when they aren't around, I really feel like there was nobody around who cares for me. I try to still be open to other people. A little bit of some kind of connection.

Right now, I only have one friend where I am living in. Really just one friend because I don't know anyone or been outside to meet others or have the guts to.

I don't know but how about getting a dog? It might help you meet people when you go out for walks. Some dog people are really friendly when you are both talking about your dogs and what they do. It becomes a ice breaker. Also, they can be good companions. Just throwing an idea out there.

[ToeJam]

I think it was terribly brave to share with your 'friend'... I wouldn't dare with any of what I consider 'true friends'. People you think you know can react in very bewildering ways when you share how you feel.

I liked eggplantlife's idea of a dog... mine will happily listen to all my crap... doesn't judge me... will nudge me for attention if I zone out and is always trying to get me to smile.

[blipsycat]

Originally Posted by gayleggg

Sorry you got hurt by your friend, even though, true friends don't treat you like that. Don't give up. Finding a new friend could be anytime if you open your heart and greet people you meet. But give yourself time to grieve the loss of this one.

What's the point of looking for a new friend if they're just going to abandon me too?

[blipsycat]

Please help me.

[pegasus]

How long have you been friends for blipsycat? Is it worth trying to talk to him? I mean communication is the way forward unless it really is completely lost.

[eskielover]

If you are having problems finding friends....maybe you could talk with your therapist about it......sometimes there are issues with our own personalities that can drive people away from us on the friend/acquaintance end of things (family is a different issue of abandonment).

If they feel we are too clingy or too needy & we put so much demands on a friendship.....sometimes me makes some people want to flee because they aren't capable of providing what the friendship requires to keep it going. I know in DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) there is a section in it called interpersonal effectiveness & it helps us learn how to express ourselves with others & learn the appropriate way to communicate our thoughts & needs.

Might also be something to look into.

But then again, sometimes we pick the wrong people to want to be friends with.....the kind that will leave....not intentionally, but because sometimes the brain thinks we don't deserve better because of all the previous times & even though it's NOT TRUE, our mind subconsciously picks those people in our life who will end up leaving.

That saying...."with friends like that, who needs enemies?"....sometimes we are better off without those kinds of people in our life anyway...but we have to learn to get our radar sensitive to the good people in this world who will be TRUE friends & who are capable of dealing with difficult situations the other goes through.

I guess I'm sensitive to that side of the picture because after 33 years, I left my bad marriage & H because I couldn't deal with him or his personality any longer........it's only been in the last several months that I have come to realize that all those years & all his life asperger's has been the driving force of his personality. It didn't make sense because he was NICE......but the things he did & the way he was came across emotionally abusive to me & I couldn't take living like that any longer......one of his final comments was that he thought I would continue tolerating him for the rest of our lives.........but I couldn't do it any longer. Some people don't wait 33 years to leave......so YES, I abandoned him....but I was also taking care of myself......could he have made changes? I think it could have been possible to some extent. I think that less now that I realize the cause then when I just thought he was being a horrible jerk who was able to do nice things without being nice.

Relationships are complicated at best. I had no friends where I lived & in the environment I was living in....now that I am alone & free from that environment, I have been able to make wonderful friends who I can honestly say are true friends & who are there through the good & the bad.

We have to look at the things that we can change because that is the only place we have any control over. If there is nothing we can change then we just have to look for those people who are better able to be friends....friendship is NOT something we can force to happen.

Personalities either get along or they don't & it's usually not until we get to know the person that we are able to tell that unless there are up front things that push people away in the first place.....those are the things we need to analyze.

[Bigmike727]

Hi, I know exactly how you feel, nearly all of my life my best friends have abandoned me and left me out to dry. I guess thats why I let relatively few people get close to me. Just think of how much better you are off without them as they were never a true friend anyway. I know how hard that is to believe and do, but there is somebody else out there who can be a better friend to you. Wishing you the best.