[bluedolphin92]

I've had my ups and downs over the past 2 1/2 years, from seriously contemplating suicide to being "alright" for weeks at a time. But I just never seem to feel happiness the way I used to. I still feel happy sometimes, sure. But it doesn't ever last long. My baseline is pretty much just a dull boredom. Not depressed, but certainly not what I'd call happy either. But honestly, I'm alright with that. Based on where I've been, I know that I could always be worse.

Anyone else have similar thoughts?

[PoorPrincess]

Similar, although I do not feel happiness. It's all so unacceptable to me.

** Raises hand.

[Fuzzybear]

[Taylerkaeb]

Very similar I have lows then what I call my mids not happy buy not depressed either. Just a feeling of indifference

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[Frankbtl]

Hi bluedolphin, being "alright" for weeks at a time, feeling happy briefly sometimes, really is a great start/really is somewhere compared with where you've been!!! So give yourself real credit for making it that far, it does mean something!!!
Sometimes the road out of depression can seem never ending, or as if it's never going to really happen, right? But sometimes it can be about just hanging in there, doing what you can, and getting the support you need with it/the right support.
Hoping you're getting whatever support you need right now, whether that's from a pdoc, a T, friends or family...........but of course we're here too!!
Alison

Not feeling happiness or acceptance of any sort lately.

[dandylin]

You nailed it. Though I have to say that just a few weeks ago, I actually felt like my old self for a few days. It was amazing. It lasted so little a time that I almost feel like it wasn't real. But it makes me feel real hope.

[eggplantlife]

These 2 days I have been feeling happy and able to concentrate compared to what I was before. It feels great. I don't know how long it will last.

From what I noticed of lately, I would have couple of hours of good feeling for a day and then depression or depression all day. So these 2 days have been amazing. I don't know if it's complete happiness but it's much better feeling than before so I consider that happiness.

It's been only a couple of days, but I noticed that when I'm alone that I do have a dull sense. Maybe it is the boredom and not able to figure out something to do.

[badcloud]

I remember when I realized I had come out of a depression. I hadn't had a depression for years, so it hit me hard, tho' it didn't last all that long (wish that was still the pattern, but alas now the depressive episodes go on and on and on).

Anyway, one morning I felt a surge of joy, when I was putting clothes in the washing machine. It was the most amazing experience. I can really remember that moment so clearly (this is years ago), and things really started to improve. The med truly kicked in I guess. (I didn't really find the therapist particularly useful.) Oh, I digress.

I hope and pray that all of us might feel a real surge of joy sometime soon.

I fear that for me, I may never feel joy again. And thoughts of ending come and go all the time.

Again, I hope and pray we can all truly feel REAL joy again and just have to deal with everyday "normal" ups and downs. Like, darn, it's morning and we're out of coffee.

[Altered Moment]

I remember as a little boy being genuinely happy. Then 7th grade and depression hit. I think I have spent 90% of my days in moderate to mild depression. This doesn't count the long periods or severe depression the last five years. I guess I have had joy here and there but not a ton. I have learned to settle for contentment. If I have contentment I am ok with it. But I should mention the meds I have been on the last two months have been working great. Better than any meds ever in 20 years. So don't give up hope.

[bluedolphin92]

Contentment is such a lovely word, if you ask me. Great way to describe how I feel on a good day.