Can't Smile

Oh God! How do people put up with this? Day after day without a smile or anything.
I take my medication as directed and I feel o.k. for 15 minutes. Then it is back to feeling depressed.
I used to have a ton of interests. I also used to be very thin. But from the months of November thru March I gained 20 lbs. I have lost 5 lbs so far. It was then that I lost my interest in going to the mall or shopping online for clothes.
I even ran a blog about make-up (one of my favorite things). I stopped the blog because I lost interest.
I used to love taking hot showers, doing facials, etc. Now I just bathe and wash my hair out of necessity.
I really, really hate the quality of my life. I don't understand why it is taking so long to feel better.
I must have done something horrible in a previous life to deserve this much pain.

You have done nothing at all to deserve pain and depression. I too sometimes feel guilty for feeling so bad like it is my fault. It's hard to feel good about yourself too when you have weight gain. Hey, you lost 5 pounds. The weight gain sounds like edema, not eating. The only thing I know to suggest is to contact your doc and see if he can increase or change your meds. However, if you have just started new meds it takes a while for them to build up in your system. The one and only bright spot in my week was going to church this morning. There is love and joy at church. I hope and pray things improve for you. Hang in there. We love you.