[msbunnyryu]

I been telling myself that everything will be alright, that everything will be okay in the future. I will have a new life in college. I won't be able to worry about my depression. But, I don't think this can hold on. Since the day of graduation, I been lazy around the house. It seemed like my mom was tired of me seeing trapped in my room. But I like being in my room. At least it held be alive for last few days. Being in my room keeps me alive and my mom does not know this. She wants me to go out side and meet with people... I don't have people. I didn't really tell her that... I just listened to her... And now, she decided to go mad about random stuff, how I am being like a child, how she hates to see me in my room, that I'm going to be like this (like a child, don't want to meet people, be stuck in the room) in the future... This has struck me hard. How she says that I will not change in the future. She doesn't know if I have depression. She doesn't know if I been thinking about killing myself. I had a plan to meet new people when I go college. I had new plan to become a new self... And she just crushed that plan... and now... My thought of suicide has came back. I'm still 50/50 of I want to live and I want to die... I really want to start a new life... But I need someone to tell me to live on. I just need someone to talk to. I'm tired of talking myself into the mirror.

[NWgirl2013]

Of course you should live on. Relax now, it's summer. Laze around and be in your room and read and do what you want to do.

You just passed a major hurdle in life; you graduated! Congratulations on that!

Perhaps ~to appease your mom~ you could go to a movie, or just take a bike ride or a walk or sit outside. It won't kill you and it will get her off your back about this.

Do you have stuff to do, like clean out stuff you don't want anymore before you go to college? Now is the time to do that. There will be stuff you don't want to take or leave behind anymore so make some trips to the thrift store and get rid of it. It'll help your mom if you are the one to do this, since it is your stuff.

Don't worry too much about being alone right now, focus on your plans and what you want to do to be who you really want to be. My daughter changed Everything about herself when she went to college...even her name (she chose a nickname as her official name & to everyone she met) And she became who she was destined to be.

I am so excited for you! What an exciting time of life you are in. Hang on! It's only going to get better!

[msbunnyryu]

Originally Posted by NWgirl2013

Of course you should live on. Relax now, it's summer. Laze around and be in your room and read and do what you want to do.

You just passed a major hurdle in life; you graduated! Congratulations on that!

Perhaps ~to appease your mom~ you could go to a movie, or just take a bike ride or a walk or sit outside. It won't kill you and it will get her off your back about this.

Do you have stuff to do, like clean out stuff you don't want anymore before you go to college? Now is the time to do that. There will be stuff you don't want to take or leave behind anymore so make some trips to the thrift store and get rid of it. It'll help your mom if you are the one to do this, since it is your stuff.

Don't worry too much about being alone right now, focus on your plans and what you want to do to be who you really want to be. My daughter changed Everything about herself when she went to college...even her name (she chose a nickname as her official name & to everyone she met) And she became who she was destined to be.

I am so excited for you! What an exciting time of life you are in. Hang on! It's only going to get better!

Man you just made me cry Thank you really

[bmoe73]

Hun...I know its hard. Ive been there. If I could I would Hugg so you know someone cares and understands your plight. What ive found that if I can make it through the times of despair...ill be alright. In dbt the have a thing call opposite action. I know...thats hard when ur in that state. You have any friends that understand your plight? Does your mom understand your plight? Today my fam and in laws were in town and I just couldn't deal with all the noise so I took some ativan and went to sleep. Not sure how ill feel tomorrow but its my sons graduation so we will see

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[Momentofclarity]

Originally Posted by msbunnyryu

I been telling myself that everything will be alright, that everything will be okay in the future. I will have a new life in college. I won't be able to worry about my depression. But, I don't think this can hold on. Since the day of graduation, I been lazy around the house. It seemed like my mom was tired of me seeing trapped in my room. But I like being in my room. At least it held be alive for last few days. Being in my room keeps me alive and my mom does not know this. She wants me to go out side and meet with people... I don't have people. I didn't really tell her that... I just listened to her... And now, she decided to go mad about random stuff, how I am being like a child, how she hates to see me in my room, that I'm going to be like this (like a child, don't want to meet people, be stuck in the room) in the future... This has struck me hard. How she says that I will not change in the future. She doesn't know if I have depression. She doesn't know if I been thinking about killing myself. I had a plan to meet new people when I go college. I had new plan to become a new self... And she just crushed that plan... and now... My thought of suicide has came back. I'm still 50/50 of I want to live and I want to die... I really want to start a new life... But I need someone to tell me to live on. I just need someone to talk to. I'm tired of talking myself into the mirror.

Live on!! ^^ Live on!! ^^ Live on!! ^^ Live on!! ^^

People have these really strange strategies to try to help people in pain. My mother, father aswell as my older brother has at least one time become really angry with me thinking that force would make me change to the better.

Your mother is obviously worried about you. Even though it might be hard to see she most likely does say these things because she cares about you. That might not change what she actually said but at least you'll know better why.

It's really not easy to just go out and meet people... I am also relaying on school or work for that. :/

But hey... if you wanna pm I am here . It might feel better to send a pm to someone rather than create a new thread every time you feel you need company.

hugs... Hang in there..

[Blitter2014]

Dont leave....it took me ages to find a cool hug picture to share!

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[hinzc7711]

I agree with NWGirl, you are finally reaching freedom from the "negative zone". College, getting a job, all empower you!

Connect-network-achieve! Life is hard when you try to live it on your own.

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[Mustkeepjob32]

I totally relate to parents getting angry. They get angry at me and I know they do it hoping that it will motivate me to be happier? I think it's a natural behavior for people that don't understand mental problems. If them getting angry would motivate me to feel fine and not so sad, then go for it! Of course it doesn't work that way. But I don't blame them either.

[Blitter2014]

Originally Posted by Mustkeepjob32

I totally relate to parents getting angry. They get angry at me and I know they do it hoping that it will motivate me to be happier? I think it's a natural behavior for people that don't understand mental problems. If them getting angry would motivate me to feel fine and not so sad, then go for it! Of course it doesn't work that way. But I don't blame them either.

This post was an eye opener for me as a parent of someone with autism. My wife tells me I am very patient, more than most, but this post mskes me all the more determined to make sure that any teaching/discipline is done lovingly and not in anger. Being human its easy to let frustration creep in or your own mood affect how you handle matters.

Parenting.....it really is harder than I ever imagined...and my oldest is 18....

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