[kittydag18]

For the past month or so, I've been slipping into a quite emotionless state. I really don't care about anything anymore. I don't care about my family, I have no friends to care about, I don't care if I don't eat, I don't care if anything were to happen right now. I try to at least pretend that I care around my family members, but it's getting really hard.
My brother just moved back home and my mom says that I need to help get him off of drugs and alcohol by keeping him busy, but I really don't care. The only thing I want to tell him to do is 'go away'.
This phase is getting much worse than it ever has before, and the only way I actually feel something is if I get hurt. I don't hurt myself intentionally. It's just something that I've noticed. When I accidentally step on a sharp object or hit my elbow on something, I actually feel something and I don't feel completely empty.
At this point, I really wouldn't care if everyone left my life for the next week or so. They could all just disappear and I just wouldn't care. I don't know if I just don't have the energy or what, but I just want everything that bothers me, even slightly, to disappear.

I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling so empty, Kittydag18. This sounds like a pretty clear case of serious depression to me. It robs us of every ounce of interest, motivation & energy & leaves us wishing the world would just leave us alone. I am pleased to hear you don't have the urge to hurt yourself. I do hope this continues to be the case.

Regarding what your mother said, it's not your responsibility to keep your brother busy so he'll stay off drugs & alcohol. That's a pretty darn big load for her to drop on your shoulders! I hope you can avoid feeling like his sobriety is your responsibility & so, if he fails, it's your fault. It's not! It's certainly fine to do what you can for him. But, in the end, he has to be responsible for himself.

Best wishes...

[Mustkeepjob32]

I agree. You are dealing with a lot and sound very depressed. You can't help get your brother off drugs. You can support him if he needs it but you have to focus on yourself otherwise you'll get more lost.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way.