[pisces22]

I don't know where to post this. Today has been a weird weird day. Everyday feels different, today's different. I feel confusion, like it's all meaningless but at the same time I feel like everyday should have meaning and I feel like I'm wasting time sitting or laying on my couch/bed all day and even sleeping. This has been my whole life. Before, it was school then home for 12 years. Now it's just me sitting at home all day. But I also feel like if I was in school and had a job, life would still be pointless. When I think about this I do feel a little anxious. I was watching a movie with my nieces and my sisters and the movie made me laugh sometimes but the whole time I was thinking that one day I'm not gonna be here and all my family isn't either and that just leaves me feeling empty. My head feels empty and just that thought floating around in my head. I don't think I'll ever be okay or how I used to be once. I'm just existing until the day I'm no longer here, that's all. I don't understand anything at all. My life used to have meaning, I wanted to go back to school and find a career in arts. I liked buying clothes, I wanted a boyfriend, I wanted to make friends, I liked listening to music, I wanted to watch new movies and go to new places now I don't want any of that. I think it's pointless. I think I'm having an existential depression. Right now, I'm not anxious like I was this morning or a few hours ago. :/ why and who made all of this. Why do I have to suffer, why can't I just ignore everything and live life like the rest of the human race. Why can't I not, not question life.

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[waterknob1234]

Hi pisces, I know how it is. Somedays you feel confusion. I am 52 years old and no longer know what I really want to do with my life. I just want to stop suffering. I too lost interest in a lot of things I used to enjoy. And depression has sucked all the energy right out of my body. I don't understand why we have to be like this when the rest of the world goes about their business and enjoys life. I wish I had the answer for you but right now I will give you lots of virtual hugs.

[birdpumpkin]

I understand. I haven't done the things I used to enjoy for awhile, either. I try, and sometimes once I get going I feel okay. But I'm not the way I used to be. I often wonder if I'll ever laugh and be silly again like I used to be. I miss it, but it's just not there for me. Just wish I could feel good emotions again instead of just all bad ones.

[Black_Raynebow23]

Hey Pisces22, yes this is exactly how I feel most of the time. I think about how much time I waste. I'm a waste of space in this world. Would anyone care if I didn't exist? Why do I have this life & not a better one? I'm always questioning my existence & not coming up with good answers, lol! I've stopped create goals for myself cause I know I won't reach them. I agree with BirdPumpkin, I wish we could only feel good feelings instead of bad feeling.