This week as part of my DBT group therapy - I am supposed to practice "radical acceptance".

IE Things are as they are. They are supposed to be that way as the result of many conditions.

Okay - so let's apply this. Life sucks, I have no friends, I hate my existence. I hate being at work, I get no relief at home. My head always feels "damaged". There LITERALLY are no available psychologists in my area (the two major hospitals have had large turnover and the remaining doctors are not accepting new patients). My meds are not helping. And I can not see a doctor (none around) to try a new med.

Radical acceptance? Sure. It will never get better.

SCREW IT

How is that for radical acceptance?

[SeekerOfLife]

Oh, UM! You sound so much in pain. I too have been told about radical acceptance. IMO, I think it may be a last option for those who have tried everything and nothing has helped. I do NOT believe you are at that point!

[waterknob1234]

Radical acceptance doesn't sound real good. Does that mean you are supposed to accept being depressed and miserable. I don't know a lot about this being I have not been to therapy, but it doesn't sound good to me. I'm sorry so are so miserable right now. I know how you feel. Depression is a mean bully and you go to therapy to get help for it. You are in my prayers and God bless.

[Espresso]

I think radical acceptance is simply acknowledging that things are what they are. It's not necessarily accepting or liking it. There's probably a "non-judgmentally" aspect to it as well as that seems to come up a lot in DBT. I really should know more about it considering how long I've been doing DBT. Take a look at this page. It seems to have good information.

[Frankbtl]

Hi UM, I don't know a lot about radical acceptance, but different things work (or don't work) for different people. And it can depend on how tools are used as much as the concept of them. But regardless I wouldn't be telling you just to accept the way you're feeling, and not to be looking for more help with that!!
Still while we're on radical acceptance then..........
Time to radically accept (!! ) that .................:
We're telling you you're not useless, hopeless or any of those things you may be thinking about yourself;
We're telling you that you are so much stronger than you might be seeing yourself to be (that's clear from what you've been going through);
We're telling you that we're here for you in all of this;
We're telling you that you are so understanding, empathetic, caring, supportive;
We're telling you that you really matter;
We're telling you we care and want to help, in whatever way!!!
And now...............a little more belief in that/in you?...........if you need it/if it will help, even just a little??

Alison

[Altered Moment]

I have not been in DBT or heard of radical acceptance, but there have been times when nothing has worked and total surrender and total acceptance of my situation has helped me. It is kind of a paradox and hard to explain. It doesn't mean giving up but just accepting things as they currently are with the hope that with help they can get better. It is a concept I learned in AA. By admitting I am totally powerless I gain power by opening myself up to solutions I could never come up with on my own. It is a paradox and brings with it peace and hope somehow.

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[threelittlebirds]

Hi. I did 15 weeks of inpatient DBT, so I know what 'radical.acceptance' is. The things that you mentioned sound really difficult, but acknowledging them is what is supposed to happen so that the issues are not being denied. Sucks, right? DBT is rough, but I hope that you keep with it because it helped me when I took it. Now I am experiencing another really devastating life crisis and I am going back to DBT to help me. Stick with it. Everyone that I know that has had DBT has always benefited from it. I wish you the best.

[live2ski66]

I know how you feel regarding the lack of doctors in your area. I was forced to move back home because I was in deep crisis with no help available. I know this may sound unorthodox, but have you tried finding a doc that does Skype sessions? I had one for a while and it was great until she moved out of state.
Good luck!

[waterknob1234]

Useless, I started thinking of you just now when I was reading my Bible. There is a passage in 2Corinthians 12:7-10 that seems to refer a little bit to this concept of "radical acceptance" though that term is not used in scripture. In this passage the apostle Paul describes having a thorn in the flesh to torment him. He says three times he pleaded with the Lord to take it away. But the Lord said to him "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

Scripture does not say what Paul's "thorn" or suffering was. We only know something caused him to suffer. For some reason God allowed the suffering but promised Paul that His grace would be sufficient.

I and probably most of us on this forum am always trying to fight this depression and everything that goes with it. I don't know, but maybe this passage is saying accept your problems and suffering, give it all to Jesus, and let His power be made perfect in our weakness.
Don't know if this helps. God bless

[Altered Moment]

The concept is very similar in AA. Total surrender means that I just can't do this anymore. My problems are bigger than me. I need to accept things exactly as they are and turn over my suffering to a power greater than myself. I am powerless on my own. This depends on a persons spiritual beliefs. It could just mean turning it over to the universe of people that may be able to help me. Maybe it means turning it over to the DBT group. Anything outside of yourself that will help. Paradoxically that power lies within us but we need help tapping into it.

I am very spiritual and have turned it all over to my concept of God many times. God has never seen fit to relieve me of depression so I don't understand it. It has helped me make peace with my suffering though. Maybe I am meant to suffer and die and there is much more to the picture than I can understand. I believe that. My two cents on it anyway.

[sph123]

Originally Posted by Useless Me

This week as part of my DBT group therapy - I am supposed to practice "radical acceptance".

IE Things are as they are. They are supposed to be that way as the result of many conditions.

Okay - so let's apply this. Life sucks, I have no friends, I hate my existence. I hate being at work, I get no relief at home. My head always feels "damaged". There LITERALLY are no available psychologists in my area (the two major hospitals have had large turnover and the remaining doctors are not accepting new patients). My meds are not helping. And I can not see a doctor (none around) to try a new med.

Radical acceptance? Sure. It will never get better.

SCREW IT

How is that for radical acceptance?

UM, I totally know how you feel. But as a previous poster mentioned (a) stick with DBT -- it will help whether you believe the new "thoughts." You don't have to believe it, you just got to keep doing it. (b) there are psychologists who do skype sessions (not pdocs unfortunately) and reach out to people on here if they know of a good way of searching for one.

Keep posting on here

Originally Posted by waterknob1234

.....There is a passage in 2Corinthians 12:7-10.......
Don't know if this helps. God bless

Yes - it helps a lot. I also ran across another person who referenced Ps46:10. "Be still and know that I am God". Normally I just read the words and not much "sinks in".... but this one did (with some help).

Be still - trust God. He is in control. Allow peace to enter yourself. Trust..... full trust should allow you to simply be still.... to let go of whatever is freaking you out.

Thank you very much for reaching out to me.