One extreme or the other.

I'm havig a roller coaster of emotions today and not sure why. I can't quite figure out what the hell is going on with me. Am I upset, feeling alone, sad? Or am I happy and stuff? It's like I'm on a pendulum and I can't stop swinging. I have suffered from depression ad about a month ago tapered my Meds in half. I was doing a little big worse while tapering and then last week it rented out. Now I feel like crap again and in bed and it's only 5:30 on this beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon. I hate myself for feeling like this.

I was enjoying life earlier today, spending time at my cousins christening and now...I feel suicidal. I won't do anything to hurt myself, but I can't say the thought hasn't crossed my mind. I feel worthless and unloved. I hate myself and I don't give a crap anymore. Why bother...

Sorry you are feeling rough right now. It always really knocks the stuffing out of me when I make the effort to do something good when I'm in a depression. If my mood lifts to the occasion I also pay for it later. Get some rest and remember the third word in that post "enjoying". Even if it was transient, even if it was about social acceptability rather than a more meaningful enjoyment - you did it - be kind to yourself, you've achieved a lot today.

Sorry you are not feeling well. You are a worthwhile person and you are loved here. It seems like when you're dealing with depression, exhaustion sets in so easily. I wonder if some it is coming from being off your meds. Anyway, get some rest. I'll give you hugs.

It is really hard to know if it is tapering and withdrawal or that the meds were working and now the depression returns. Were the meds working?

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Hey I have been right were you are so many times in my life. Hang in there and stop being so hard on yourself. You are doing the best you can for today. Tomorrow is another and rest may be the best thing for you right now. Hope it turns around soon for you because it can be exhausting just know you have people here who really care and understand and that means a lot.

Hi, no lie I empathize with you. The other night I went out partying with my friends and had a great time. About a day or so after I crashed down from my high and was in this rut again. It seems that happiness is very elusive and temporary for those of us with depression. Anyways, I wish you well.

you are not alone.

I am guessing your feeling is part of the reason that suicides are most prevalent this time of the year.

Thanks guys. The Meds were working and I was stable and on them for 6+ yrs. I figure it's time to see if I can do without them. I was okay after a nap last night. Even did laundry and cleaned my apt. Now I'm home from work and back in a funk.

I also have to have a colonoscopy on wed as can't eat anything staring tonight (min at midnight). It's going to really suck. I have one very 2 years bc I have ulcerative colitis. I hate them but they are necessary. I just am dreading te next few days.

Is it the tapering of Meds? Who knows. It does help to know I'm not alone tho. Sorry you're goin thru the same Mike.