[CherryIEvans]

Hey there everyone, been a while

(I don't know if this is supposed to be here, if it's not, feel free to move) So lately I've been doing mostly okay, no sudden depression bouts, no exhaustion, therapy's going great but lately I've noticed I have these days where I just feel completely and utterly hollowed out inside like…like someone took a melon baller and just scooped every bit of emotion/life out of me, and every other hour I just feel like I'm about to burst into tears at any second.

I've never had these days before so I was wondering, does anyone on here know what I'm talking about? is it some stage of depression? if it is, how are you coping with it?

- CherryI.

[Altered Moment]

That is a good way to describe how I felt today, although not the crying part. I have been trying to think of a word, alone, isolated, empty.....hollow does it justice.

The thing is I did all the right things. I went to all the fourth of July festivities in my town with my daughter and parents. Saw old friends and a band and so on. Should have been a fulfilling happy day. yet I felt hollow all day. I can't explain why, it was just this internal feeling that has not gone away. I do not really want to go to the fire works and band tonight but I probably will. Doing these things is supposed to drag me out of depression but it isn't working. So I am not sure how to cope. Its just this odd empty hollow feeling.......

[Rohag]

Originally Posted by zinco14532323

That is a good way to describe how I felt today, although not the crying part.

Same here. In fact, I primarily experience depression as a vast, trackless emptiness.

I cannot tell how much of the emptiness is a function of depression itself versus the effects of the meds used to treat the depression. It easily may be both.

[NowhereUSA]

that's how depression feels for me. like i'm empty inside and i can't fill up my void with anything

[ThisWayOut]

yup, that about sums up depression for me too... (and it hasn't much changed in how I experience it now that I am no longer on the meds, so I think it's just the depression itself)...

[glok]

Hello, CherryIEvans. Have you talked to your treatment team about this?

[CherryIEvans]

Thank you everyone for the responses It's good to know it's not just me.

Thiswayout, I agree, I'm not on meds either so it's probably just the depression *sigh*

Hi Glok, uh no…no I haven't had the chance since I felt okay last check-up, guess that's why I was so confused about how it snuck up on me; but I'm bringing it up next week, hopefully it's a one time thing.

[barmum]

Hi Cherryl,
That sounds very much like something I get where I just feel utterly flat , like I can't react to things and there's just nothing inside. To be honest the only thing that's really helped has been when I do Muay Thai really pushing myself in the sparring or on the heavy bags so I do feel but I worry that this is skirting a bit close to the same reasons why people self injure.
I hope you find something healthy that works for you x

Barbara

[s247]

When I get stuck, I've managed to remind myself what I'm feeling is temporary. Doesn't help much at that very moment, but it gives me a slight jolt to begin heading to a better place. It takes a while, but I get there.