Just a burden...

Hi, this is my first time posting here or anywhere else regarding this subject...

I don't even know where to start =/
So, I'm 22 years old 1,70m tall (~ 5 feet 6 inches) and weight 120kg (~264 pounds), I know that I'm obese and I want to change that, but everytime I start exercising it only lasts a few days until I lose my will...

I spend most of my days alone in my room. I used to leave to go to college, but now I'm on vacation so I rarely leave. I even have lost interest on the games I used to play.

I have 4 friends, but they don't seem to consider me as much as a friend because they're not there for me as I'm for them. My "best friend" has been diagnosed with depression, but I think he's only sad because his gf cheated on him... When that happened he was in a pretty bad shape and I went to his house as soon as I could and spent a whole weekend with him until he felt better. But when I need to be with someone I have to ask to go there because he doesn't even notice that I'm worse than him.

My parents keep bothering me about losing weight and getting a job, but they never wondered why I never leave my room. I just feel like laying in my bed, cry and sleep all day.

Single for almost 3 years now... but I'll never meet someone because I never go out. Sometimes I want to go out, but I give up when I realize I have no friend to go with me.

I'm unemployed for over 7 months now and I can't find another job, partly because I can't imagine myself leaving home to go to any of the jobs I look up. Sometimes, when I'm too sad, I like to buy stuff just to feel a little better, but since I'm unemployed I'm always in debt with the bank and I have to ask my father for money to pay it...

I'm unemployed for over 7 months now and I can't find another job, partly because I can't imagine myself leaving home to go to any of the jobs I look up. Sometimes, when I'm too sad, I like to buy stuff just to feel a little better, but since I'm unemployed I'm always in debt with the bank and I have to ask my father for money to pay it... So I feel like I'm just a burden for my family. Almost everyday when I go to sleep, I wish I don't wake up so my parents don't have to waste more money with me.

I don't think about suicide though, I know I wouldn't have strength to go on with it.

Sorry for the long post and bad english.

Welcome to PC and please read a lot and post a lot. I can tell you it does really help. At least we know we are not alone in what we go through.

Sounds like a classic case of depression to me. I know something about feeling like a burden. I moved away when I was 19 and worked my whole life, BUT in recent years my depression got so severe I couldn't hold down a job anymore. I am 50 and sitting here at my parents totally relying on them financially. I do not like it one bit. I am an emotional and financial burden to them. I decided that I would not longer be an emotional burden by not sharing with them my everyday ups and downs and what is going on in my head. I do have other sources of support that I use however.

It is much harder when you are out of school or work as when you wake up you don't feel like there is anything worth getting out of bed for. And then for me even when I do have a very large reason to get out of bed I can't force myself to get up and serve that purpose. So a sense of purpose does not always fix it.

Have you thought about telling your parents that you think you suffer from depression and may need professional help?

Have you thought about telling your friends what you are going through? They might surprise you.

I feel ya. I am 32 living with my mom and do nothing. She cooks cleans and cares for the animals. I feel like such a burden. I want to jump into my truck with my dog and a tent and just disappear. Then maybe my family won't be concerned about what I'm doing to my mother. I hate it, what I can't get myself to do. Even the easiest things like eating and showering have become to much. I hope your able to find a way through your depression. Good luck and know you are not alone.

Hello dear Vhv91. I'd like to offer you a very big warm
WELCOME
to Psych central and all it has to offer. There's a group on depression and lots of threads on that subject. Yes, I agree, it does sound like depression to me, what you are going through. Would it be possible for you to visit your Dr ? I think it needs someone like a Dr to assess you. That doesn't mean you'll have to take meds, there could be therapy instead. But, def look into it because the sooner you get a professional health care worker, the quicker you'll feel better. HUGS and LOVES. XXXXXXXXXXX

Thank you guys for the support...
like you said kenshin, sometimes even eating and showering seems pointless.
about talking to my parents and go see a Dr, my parents are the type that don't believe in depression being a mental condition, they think it's the same thing of being sad... my uncle recently broke up with his gf which he lived together since I can remember and he moved to be closer to his family, so one day my father is talking about how my uncle is being dramatic because he was crying and talking about suicide... since then I realized I couldn't rely on my parents.
And as I'm unemployed I can't afford to pay a Dr myself. that's why I searched for this forum. I already feel much better, just having someone to talk about it.

I often watch videos/livestreams when I'm feeling down, it also helps, but it's just for a small moment.