[The Fox & the Hound]

There like- go kill yourself. Or I'm going to kill myself. I'll be leaving on this day.

I don't know why they joke about it.

[InRealLife45]

Originally Posted by The Fox & the Hound

There like- go kill yourself. Or I'm going to kill myself. I'll be leaving on this day.

I don't know why they joke about it.

maybe they make light of it bc the subject is uncomfortable? sometimes people joke about that kind of thing.

alternatively if you have a history of suicide attempts, its just plain mean.

[The Fox & the Hound]

They have told me to kill myself, in a joking way.

They joke about it, it bugs me. Oh, I'm going to go kill myself

No one knows I'm suicdal

[Yoda]

Maybe they are just jerks. Just because they are family doesn't make them nice people.

[Rapunzel]

They may not understand it, or they might not want to accept that it is something serious. Like IRL45 said, people do joke about things that are uncomfortable. Joking can be a way to say something without really saying it. Any joke consists of raising the level of discomfort into a slightly uncomfortable range and then releasing it. If it is successful, you find it funny. When you don't find a joke funny either it failed to get the level of discomfort right (too high or too low) or it failed to release the discomfort, leaving you still feeling uncomfortable. I'm guessing that the suicide jokes don't really make anybody laugh. Too uncomfortable for most people.

My landlady made some comments about suicide the other day. She was trying to say that she wouldn't be good at my crisis worker job because if someone is suicidal she just says "get over it" or she would suggest methods that the person might not have thought of. She refuses to take emotions seriously and she owns that she just isn't an emotional person. It really comes down to that she isn't comfortable with emotions or an emotional crisis and she doesn't want to try. Part of it is generational. She is 71 years old. Her generation didn't deal with emotions. They hid them and tried to get rid of them. I understand, but I still find her attitude offensive and hurtful, especially since she knows that depression and suicide are personal issues for me. If I try to talk to her she cuts it short and says that's the last that she will talk about that with me "for a long time." I haven't been trying to talk to her and I was not the one who brought up the topic. I confronted her on that attitude and sent her some information on appropriate ways to talk to someone who is suicidal but I don't think she read the information. She agreed to avoid the topic with me, but didn't apologize and told me that she refuses to change her attitude.

[The Fox & the Hound]

Originally Posted by Yoda

Maybe they are just jerks. Just because they are family doesn't make them nice people.

They can be rude sometimes, but, there not mean

[Yoda]

Originally Posted by The Fox & the Hound

They can be rude sometimes, but, there not mean

If they don't intend to be mean do you think perhaps they do not understand how painful it is to hear their jokes? Like maybe they have never had thoughts of wanting to die and don't understand how depression hurts so badly?

[BrownChip]

I live with suicidal thoughts as well. I know the pain of it. Quite scary. Most people would not know how to respond to someone in crisis or calling out for help. Too many people would just say get over it or yell at you for thinking like that when they don't realize or understand it's not something we really choose in our lives. Happiness is a tough thing. Some people have it but I think most people have some form of a struggle in their lives. Those of us who struggle with the intense pain of wanting to exit this world have it the hardest. There's this inner fight to survive. People need to stop and listen to others. Everyone is so busy with their own lives that they forget about those they are the closest to. Plus we are all guilty of hiding our pain and troubles. It's hard to come out so to speak. It's a real challenge to find a compassionate ear. I don't have anyone I trust enough to share my darkest thoughts with. Not even family. Not even friends. Friends seem so distant. They have families and children of their own and careers and concerns. Hang in there. Know that you are not alone.

[Idiot17]

Several colleague's of mine that I work with joke around about suicide, about how I'm going to kill myself one day. Finally I told one individual to kindly stop since it's triggering, and he said he had no idea. I had to explain it all to him and then he felt bad since they didn't realize what they are actually doing by kidding around bout suicide.

[dandylin]

I'm sorry people would mock you like that. It does not sound as if they are very supportive of your struggle. I wish you some peace from this

[ToeJam]

Originally Posted by Idiot17

Several colleague's of mine that I work with joke around about suicide, about how I'm going to kill myself one day. Finally I told one individual to kindly stop since it's triggering, and he said he had no idea. I had to explain it all to him and then he felt bad since they didn't realize what they are actually doing by kidding around bout suicide.

That was brave.

Got me thinking about a story my dad once told. He was in the forces and one of his colleagues was suffering from depression... well one day one of the guys said something like 'well just go kill yourself if you don't like it'... a flippant remark... but the guy went into the toilets and made an attempt.

My dad and the others got a massive wake up call (crapped their pants as he put it) while trying to get him the medical help he needed (he survived).

As such, my dad who was one to take the piss out of everything and anything treated me with kid gloves when it came to my own depression which in a round about way I'm grateful for... kinda sad that it took such a dramatic experience to make him more aware... but yeah, it did the job.

It's hard to explain to others who just don't understand... I guess that's why many of us have to use coping strategies to guard ourselves from remarks that could trigger... to put it into the context that they have no idea and that we will not allow them to mess with our heads.

[herethennow]

My family knows about my suicidal ideation and my self injury.. they always make fun of it.
I just hole myself in a room and not listen to them..

to you. Hang in there.

[The Fox & the Hound]

They don't know, at all. I'm terrified for them to know. That's why I'm not seeking help. I think I have major depression.

I do not know how'd they react, bad, proably

[Idiot17]

[QUOTE=ToeJam;3811590]That was brave.

Brave, i thought it was more like a weakness. I felt the need for them to understand cuz what they were saying got to me.

[glok]

Hello, The Fox & the Hound. You have little or no control over what others may think. You can choose to make your well-being a priority. Please choose wisely.

[Momentofclarity]

I am very tired...my post might be a mess...I apologise for that..

Originally Posted by InRealLife45

maybe they make light of it bc the subject is uncomfortable? sometimes people joke about that kind of thing.

alternatively if you have a history of suicide attempts, its just plain mean.

This is probably it.. It's very known that some people got worries partly subconsciously and that they deal with these thoughts consciously by joking about it... the result is that they are kinda lying to themselves.

I gotta say though... telling someone....

Originally Posted by The Fox & the Hound

They have told me to kill myself, in a joking way.

They joke about it, it bugs me. Oh, I'm going to go kill myself

No one knows I'm suicdal

... to kill themselves is always mean.... regardless. They aren't just grasping what they are doing.

I suggest you tell them not to joke about suicide. Tell them that it isn't fun when someone chooses to do such an attempt. You can also say you got friends with suicidal thoughts or that have attempt suicide or similar... if I remember correctly you have a friend who once either did an attempt or was close to.. and well...you got plenty of friends on this forum who been through a lot. You aren't lying if you say any of that and it will probably not get you into that position where you have to answer endless numbers of questions.

Hang in there.

Originally Posted by Idiot17

Brave, i thought it was more like a weakness. I felt the need for them to understand cuz what they were saying got to me.

One thing doesn't exclude another. (I don't really know what the phrase is really like) Objectively...if someone did something similar but it wasn't you...wouldn't you agree on that admitting ones weaknesses is a brave act?

[The Fox & the Hound]

Originally Posted by Momentofclarity

I am very tired...my post might be a mess...I apologise for that..


This is probably it.. It's very known that some people got worries partly subconsciously and that they deal with these thoughts consciously by joking about it... the result is that they are kinda lying to themselves.

I gotta say though... telling someone....


... to kill themselves is always mean.... regardless. They aren't just grasping what they are doing.

I suggest you tell them not to joke about suicide. Tell them that it isn't fun when someone chooses to do such an attempt. You can also say you got friends with suicidal thoughts or that have attempt suicide or similar... if I remember correctly you have a friend who once either did an attempt or was close to.. and well...you got plenty of friends on this forum who been through a lot. You aren't lying if you say any of that and it will probably not get you into that position where you have to answer endless numbers of questions.

Hang in there.


One thing doesn't exclude another. (I don't really know what the phrase is really like) Objectively...if someone did something similar but it wasn't you...wouldn't you agree on that admitting ones weaknesses is a brave act?

Wait... So your saying there thinking of suicide/having suicidal thoughts? Why do you think that.

There like...Go kill yourself. No one would ever miss you. Finally, she's doing it.

Then they'd make fun of her... They'd prob. Know it was me .

[nummy]

I am sorry they don't appear to "get" your pain. Can I share a story, though? One of my sisters was known for saying those types of things. I really resented her for her coldness. Years later she's getting treatment for serious, serious depression herself. She was probably in denial the whole time, and reacted the way you'd expect a depressed brain in denial to react. Badly. Unhealthily. We get along much better today, but I didn't realize til just last year how mentally I'll my entire family really was. They hurt too, but they denied it. I was just louder in my saying I had depression. They were scared. Maybe your family is too. Either way, I hope you have a good therapist to help you through your darker moments.

[Pierro]

Originally Posted by The Fox & the Hound

They can be rude sometimes, but, there not mean

So now you are sticking up for them??. I would call that mean. People do joke about suicide because it is uncomfortable and maybe too close to home.

Best wishes to you.

[The Fox & the Hound]

Originally Posted by Pierro

So now you are sticking up for them??. I would call that mean. People do joke about suicide because it is uncomfortable and maybe too close to home.

Best wishes to you.

Well... I wasn't standing up for them. There fine talking doing other things... Just not suicide,& other similar topics.

[Momentofclarity]

Originally Posted by The Fox & the Hound

Wait... So your saying there thinking of suicide/having suicidal thoughts? Why do you think that.

There like...Go kill yourself. No one would ever miss you. Finally, she's doing it.

Then they'd make fun of her... They'd prob. Know it was me .

Rather that they could sense depression or suicidal thoughts from you. Or, if they don't know you are carrying these thoughts, is it then a coincidence that they start to joke about it now?

And really...if that is what they are saying..it gotta stop.

[The Fox & the Hound]

Originally Posted by Momentofclarity

Rather that they could sense depression or suicidal thoughts from you. Or, if they don't know you are carrying these thoughts, is it then a coincidence that they start to joke about it now?

And really...if that is what they are saying..it gotta stop.

They don't know. No one knows. Depression runs on the other side of my family.

How could they sense depression?

How do I tell them to stop?

[Hellion]

I constantly suffer from depression and have been suicidal and I actually don't mind comedy/jokes about suicide unless its directed at me or someone else like in a mean mocking way...but for me I guess its a consistant thing so if I don't laugh about it well just doesn't work for me.

Sometimes people also say it to be dramatic but aren't actually serious like if someone says they would rather die than eat some gross food they don't like, chances are if they had the choice between death and eating it they would eat it.

As for your family could be ignorant and think they are being funny, especially since you say they aren't actively 'mean' I'd suggest maybe just explaining you don't find it funny and it bothers you....do they typically respect you're feelings and such or no?

[Rapunzel]

Just say something like "Stop that. It is insensitive and I don't have to listen to it." Then leave the room.

But if you need treatment, please get some treatment. I don't know how old you are. If you are over 18, you don't need to tell them anything if you don't want to. Maybe if they knew they would be more understanding than you think. But depression is serious and people do die from it. If you or someone you cared about had symptoms of cancer or heart disease or another physical illness you would get treatment, right? Depression is just as serious, and maybe even more painful and damaging to live with, and if you die from it you are just as dead. Besides, it can contribute to other illnesses including physical ones if you don't get treatment.

the best humor has some truth or uncomfortableness with it.

I think it may be inappropriate or plain stupid on their part. but I can kind of understand it.