[waterknob1234]

I'm sorry to post this. I know I have been too needy and I post too much. I have nowhere else to turn. I had a horrible day. Everything went wrong. The head doctor at work was upset with me. I did the best job I could but it wasn't good enough. I'm never good enough. I'm a total failure. At the end of the workday I just wanted to leave this world. I have lost all desire to live. My daughter came to visit this evening and that did distract me and help my mood some. It also made me realize I have to go on living for my children. Here it is fourth of July weekend. I should be celebrating but I am exhausted and out of hope. In the past year the docs tried Prozac, Effexor, citalopram, and now Buproprion for my depression. None of it works. I am so miserable I can't stand it anymore. I hate myself and I hate my life.

[atomicc]

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I wish there was more to say :/
Are you in therapy as well as on medication?
I hope your family will perk you up a little more this weekend Hang in there

I often feel the same. I'm up on dosage of Bupropian, and it helped. I went thru about 4 drugs till they got me on Bupropian.
Seems to make me feel better.
Yes I need distractions also.
Try to keep your mind on other things.
Think back of the good times and memories.
That's about what all I have now, as I am now alone w/ no family.
I wish you well, and have a Good Holiday..

Abscondist

[Idiot17]

Originally Posted by waterknob1234

I'm sorry to post this. I know I have been too needy and I post too much. I have nowhere else to turn. I had a horrible day.

I'm never good enough. I'm a total failure.

I have lost all desire to live.

I am so miserable I can't stand it anymore. I hate myself and I hate my life.

Nothing intelligent to say. Just letting you know you're not alone in feeling such. And I haven't noticed you being needy in any posts.
(((((Waterknob))))))

[glok]

Hello, waterknob1234. Copy your post for your treatment team. The treatment currently employed is not working. Be your own best advocate. Make sure the team knows you need more help than you getting.

I wish you well.

[waterknob1234]

Originally Posted by abscondist

I often feel the same. I'm up on dosage of Bupropian, and it helped. I went thru about 4 drugs till they got me on Bupropian.
Seems to make me feel better.
Yes I need distractions also.
Try to keep your mind on other things.
Think back of the good times and memories.
That's about what all I have now, as I am now alone w/ no family.
I wish you well, and have a Good Holiday..

Abscondist

At 2:30AM I could not sleep. I watched Independence Day on TV. That was a good movie. It also reminds me of the mid 1990's which is when that movie came out. My children were still young. I used to watch this movie with my children. Those were the good days.

[Momentofclarity]

HUUUUGS waterknob! ((((((waterknob)))))) ^^ You are not alone in feeling that you're never good enough. I hope you feel better soon.

[Fuzzybear]

[TheOriginalMe]

((((((Waterknob))))))

You are a kind, sensitive person fighting a nasty, cruel illness. You are not a failure, you are a fighter and survivor. I'm glad you found a little comfort in memories of better times, there will be good times again.

[DogTired]

I don't have any great advice but please know that you're posting among friends and I for one don't think you're being needy or posting too much!! Bring it on! That's what we're here for. Movies help me escape from my head sometimes too. I'm glad you found at least a little something that reminded you of your happier self.

Good luck with the medication(s). I just started a new one and it's sort of helping, or at least it's helping a little more than the last one I was on...I think..? It takes a while for the meds to take full effect and it's hard to know if it's ever really going to work, which doesn't sit well with someone who is feeling hopeless. Hugs to you, and I hope you have an emotionally peaceful night tonight.