Has anyone overcome depression in this situation?

MattMVS7 · Jul 17, 2014, 09:10 PM

I have come up with the solution that would completely bring back my ability to experience pleasure again. When I had these panic attacks in the very beginning, even though I did become depressed, this depression was simply a response at the time and was not a defense mechanism that shut down the fear and my ability to experience pleasure as a result in order to prevent the panic from happening. At the time, I thought to myself that maybe in 1 month this would all get better and that maybe I won't have panic all throughout the day each day. However, the moment that I began to have an extreme fear in which I experienced as many as 3 panic attacks in 1 minute and the panic didn't seem to stop, I made the realization that this is likely that this is something that is not going to stop and would almost continue all day everyday. That is when this depression became the defense mechanism and shut down the fear and shut down my ability to experience pleasure in order to not take that great risk. There is also another realization that I made that is also contributing to this depression in taking on the form of this defense mechanism which is that there are people who are treatment resistant in terms of panic disorder and hardly or do not get better despite medication, CBT, meditation, exposure therapy, and everything else. Therefore, this is also something that poses yet another great risk which is that my panic could continue and hardly or never get better and that I will live an entire life of panic or at least many years of panic. Since my mind is also not willing to take that great risk as well, this is also another reason why this depression remains there holding off my fear and pleasure all the time as a defense mechanism.

In CBT, this is something that addresses something known as 'cognitive distortions.' I already realize that me thinking that there is the possibility that I will have many or even almost constant panic all day everyday and also that it might hardly or never get better would be me catastrophizing which would mean that my thinking here is not true because we don't even know if this is a possibility or not. However, there is something that is true which I feel therapy and such cannot address which is that there is the risk of that happening if my depression were to somehow go away right now or ease up which would no longer hold off the fear. Again, I know from personal experience that when there were moments in which this depression went down a bit, that did cause the panic to return. But now there are never such moments and the depression remains there all the time 24/7 holding off my fear and pleasure.

Let's pretend right now that I would be completely comfortable with this risk stated above, that would cause my depression to go away completely right now. However, this is completely impossible for me to feel comfortable at all with this risk and I do not think it would be possible for any human being to feel comfortable with such a risk either. This is why my depression remains there and is not getting better in order to avoid this risk.

This is why I ask if there is any possible way for anyone here to address this issue and if there is any way possible to help me think differently in such a way that would be likely for me to recover from this depression or if there is any therapy and such whatsoever that would address this issue.

Forever hopeful · Jul 18, 2014, 06:32 AM

Continue with CBT you already starting to recognize that you have faulty beliefs etc.. Your on your way as you learn to calm your mind, combat irrational thoughts.. You will be on your way. What meds did you say you were on again?

MattMVS7 · Jul 19, 2014, 06:04 PM

I already am doing everything I can in addressing this issue, but I am also here talking about it at the same time because that is what these forums are all about and I wish to know very important things here.

I believe what I'm having now is not depression, but anhedonia because that is something that happens when your mind decides to shut down your emotions because, in my case, the fear was too much. But it is something that does not cause you to feel hopeless or sad as in depression. In my case, it leaves me with no fear of these thoughts and no ability to experience pleasure.

Now tell me if I am true or false on this which is that the only way I see getting better is that if I were to be comfortable with having these panic attacks because depression and anhedonia, in this case, ease up when you are comfortable with something and no longer view it as a problem. So in other words, is the only way for me to get better is for me to feel comfortable facing my panic attacks? I have the strong will and determination to face my panic in order to get out of this anhedonia. But as long as you are not comfortable facing these panic attacks which is how I feel, you can have all the will and determination in the world and it won't do anything. You can even address this issue through medication and everything else, but that won't do anything either as long as I am not comfortable having these panic attacks.

Or am I false on this and that since the mind is a very complex organ, then that makes this situation more complex in that my mind can somehow recover the ability to experience pleasure while still suppressing my fear? Has anyone here had anhedonia as a response to trauma or panic and have gotten better with it despite the fact that you were never comfortable facing your trauma or fear?

shortandcute · Jul 19, 2014, 09:16 PM

What works for me is to not think about it or focus on it, and just don't feel the depression. Otherwise, Im stuck in it.

Altered Moment · Jul 19, 2014, 09:44 PM

If the panic were treated successfully with medication, and it can be, then you would be more comfortable facing the trauma caused fear.

I had very horrible anxiety with much paranoia. I could not live with it or cope with it. I would get it the worse while in a severe depression. I think I would end it all if I had to live with that everyday. I chose to get on meds that have totally alleviated it. They have worked and it allows me to much more easily focus on treating the depression. And yes I do experience pleasure.

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MattMVS7 · Jul 19, 2014, 11:48 PM

Now here in this article, it is normal for the mind to suppress emotions in times of trauma and extreme fear:

Emotion Suppression: Effects on Mental and Physical Health | MySahana

But if this were to be a mental disorder which is what I am experiencing and is something there all the time suppressing my fear and ability to experience pleasure, what would be the name of this mental disorder? Would it be anhedonia or something different?

Forever hopeful · Jul 20, 2014, 02:12 AM

Depression and anhedonia are almost one in the same and can also be applied to other conditions as well.

Once I was properly treated with meds it made it so much easier to tackle the agoraphobia you have. Being properly medicated will give you the motivation to tackle your anxiety problem which in turn lifts the depression or vice versa which equals recovering your happiness. If your are not feeling better in any area yet and are on meds I would get that re-evaluated so you can feel well enough to properly use CBT and other therapies to get you on the road to recovery. Like I said I am cheering for as I was once in your spot. You can friend me ,pm if you like. I know sometimes we have to hear it a million times to be reassured that you can overcome this.

Scottishmist · Jul 22, 2014, 12:42 PM

Dear Matt,

I say this in the kindest possible way... I say it with compassion and empathy for what you are going through. I've read most of your posts and there is one thing that has hit me. You are analyzing your medical condition to the degree that I somehow can't help but think that your mind has taken charge and you are intellectualizing yourself into a frozen state.

I recognize some of myself in what you are doing because, when I had a moderate undiagnosed depression I tried to the think myself better. However, the anxiety only got worse and took charge. Ultimately I ended up with severe clinical depression accompanied with anxiety. The depression worsened until I became catatonic. Depression is a reaction to many things and slowly but surely it will shut you down the worse it gets.

There ARE medications out there that will address your anxiety attacks therefore, allowing you to see the silver lining that you cannot possibly see just now. Depression robs us of the here and now. It tells us things that are not true... it speaks to us in negative tones making us feel worthless and unlovable. We cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel but, that light IS there. The sense of hopelessness covers us in a cloak of despair. We believe that nothing will change but, it can and it does. It numbs our feelings and that is what depression is about. It shuts us down.

A good doctor will address your issues and work with you to find the best medicine for you. A medicine that is compatible with your physiology therefore, addressing the imbalances that are causing your illness. You can and will get better with the appropriate help.

I wish you good luck and a better life because you deserve it my friend. There is a future for you... you have to believe that even at a time when you believe the opposite.
YOU can get better!!!

Sharon m · Aug 18, 2014, 04:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MattMVS7

I wish to know if others here were ever in a similar situation as mine right here and completely gotten over their depression in this situation. The situation I'm in that is causing me chronic depression is that I have developed a severe panic disorder in which I am experiencing constant panic attacks one right after the other all day everyday. Knowing that I am in this constant state of panic and that I cannot escape from it has caused me depression. Fortunately, this depression has actually held off (replaced) the fear on the very 1st day I was in this constant state of panic. Unfortunately, this depression is chronic and is always there holding off the fear and unless I have this depression, that will cause the panic to return. I notice that when there are few moments in which this depression goes down, that causes the fear to return. Then, of course, immediately once the fear returns, that causes the chronic depression to take back over and replace the fear.

I notice that a certain level of this depression is necessary to hold off the fear. If it is anything below that, the fear returns. Also, since depression in this case is a response to not wanting to be in a state of fear or panic (and obviously a continuous state of panic for that matter), this is why the depression is always there and always preventing me from being in that situation.

So my question here is since no one in their right mind would ever wish to be in that situation (obviously me here as well), wouldn't that mean the depression will, in fact, always be there for the rest of my life (since, again, depression is a response to never wanting to be in that situation)? I'm hoping that this isn't the case which is why I am here asking if anyone was ever in this exact same situation I'm in and have completely gotten over their depression in that situation.

I realize that if I were to take care of the source of this depression (rid of the panic), that would rid of this depression. But in order for me to do that would require exposure therapy (as I notice that nothing I tell myself or anything else helps). But since exposure therapy requires that you experience panic attacks, this isn't going to happen since the depression is always there preventing me from panicking. And even if the fear somehow eases up on its own over time, unless it goes away completely, the depression will still always be there (as this is what is already always happening). Also, this is not just one thought causing me panic--it is many different thoughts. So even if I were to reduce or get over the fear of one thought, that will leave me with the full-blown fear of all the other thoughts as well (and there are a countless number of them).

Finally, in terms of this depression somehow getting better or even completely going away, how would that ever work given this situation? You already know that depression is something that reduces pleasure activity in the brain which is obviously what leads you into feeling depressed. But I have obviously learned from my experience that it also shuts down the fear response as well. Therefore, is it possible for my depression to remain there in such a way that it no longer reduces any pleasure and I am able to fully enjoy life again, but will keep the fear response shut down?

Unless my depression somehow gets better, I will forever be left with no feelings of pleasure (as this is the situation I'm in now). And I do not see how it would get better because, as I just stated, any level of depression that is below what I'm experiencing now causes the panic to return. And since depression is a response to not wanting to panic, that would mean the depression would have to remain at this level.

Have you ever tried hypnotherapy, or shock treatment

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Has anyone overcome depression in this situation?

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