Do you ever get your enthusiasm for life back after depression?

I don't know how to explain the state I've been stuck in for years other than to say that I don't really know what I want because nothing really excites or interests me anymore. I can make myself care about things in a logical way to a degree but not on an emotional level. I'm not sure if that makes sense.

For example, I spent the last about 7 months taking pre-med classes as a post-graduate student. I decided after graduation that I was going to pursue med school and carve out a more secure future for myself than I currently have, mostly because I thought maybe financial security and career success would make me feel happy and like I have a purpose again. I don't really care about learning anymore like I used to, and I don't get excited over getting good grades anymore. But on a logical level I know that if I get bad grades and screw up my GPA, there will never be any med school in my future in the event that I decide to find a reason to continue pursuing it, so I can make myself work for the grades. But there's no passion or enthusiasm in any of it. I'm just a robot going through the motions because it's what I'm "supposed" to do. It's the same for pretty much any other aspect of my life anymore. I'm just walking around on auto-pilot.

I haven't really been able to enjoy anything in a long time. Like three years ago, my dad went on a trip to Orlando with his girlfriend and let me tag along. We did a lot of the types of things that used to excite me like we went to Medieval Times and Universal Studios, and I was just so freaking bored the entire time. I thought forsure I would be super excited to see the (then) new Harry Potter theme park, but I was just like, "This is it? This is so dull. I'm bored. Why did I even like doing things like this as a teenager? There is nothing fun about this."

If someone asks me what I think about something, I don't know what to tell them because I don't really have an opinion on anything. Would I prefer a chicken sandwich or a salad? I dunno, anything to keep me from starving to death is fine. Do I think the red car or the black car is prettier? I don't care; they're both boring and stupid. What is my opinion on the news story that just broke? I don't know; nothing really matters anyway.

I'm afraid that I'm just stuck this way now. I feel like there's no point in doing anything. Nothing makes me feel excited. Everything is boring and disappointing. What's the point of even existing as a robot?

I completely get what you are talking about. I lived in what seemed like a depressive stupor for so long, just no interest for anything. No motivation. I just pushed myself through each day because I had no choice.

It has gotten better for the most part, but it has taken years of pretty intensive therapy, some meds along the way. I'm not sure exactly when it started turning around. I guess it was after having finally worked through all of my old stuff that kept me stuck in that depressive pattern.

I feel for you. I hope you'll eventually be able to find some help and see some movement in your depression. You're in a bad spot in really difficult circumstances. It can get better though, but I know it's hard to see that hope right now.

Thank you. I hope you're right. The thought of being stuck like this forever just sounds completely awful. That's one thing I do have an opinion on, lol, that I don't want to be like this forever.

Part of me wonders if it's just a normal part of adulthood, though. Maybe I just used to get excited about things before because I was a kid/teen. Not like that was that long ago.

(((freefalling))) I don't know how long it lasts. I was just saying the same thing to my psychiatrist this morning. "I am tired, I just want to sleep, forever". I myself see no end.

this is not what adulthood is like.
I'm also on auto-pilot ... but I used to get excited just like a kid before this started. just about different things. hope it comes back...

I don't think it's part of adulthood per se but people do go through changes along the way. Maybe med school is not what you really want. Have you thought of other careers?
And to answer your question, yes, you can regain enthusiasm for life post depression. It may not be quite the same level of enthusiasm but I don't think it's all that rare for enthusiasm to wane even for people who don't get depressed.

wow, i didn't want to hear that...
thanks for taking another piece of my naivity away ...

I don't understand why you're questioning the med school thing. The depression has been an issue long before I made it my plan to pursue med school.

To answer the question, though, I have certainly considered other career options in the past. I think this one or something similar such as becoming a PA is my only real chance at success, though. School is the only thing I'm good at, and medicine is one of the few career paths where performing well in school will actually get you somewhere. Employers don't care about my nearly perfect GPA, but med schools do. A medical degree is also one of the few degrees that basically guarantee you employment. I want that security because I'm really tired of being told I'm not good enough to earn a salary because my education means nothing to society or employers. I would like a degree that actually helps me. I'm no good at paving my own path. Medicine is a linear path that is already paved for you, if that makes sense. You do well in school, do well on the MCAT, get into med school, graduate, do a residency, and go on to practice on your own. Step B follows Step A.

sounds rather good to me. even more if this is giving you some energy and self-confidence

To answer the question in you title it is yes. If you can manage to come out of a depression by whatever means then yes I have found all the normal interests and motivations come back. I won't say happy joyous and free because I rarely get that. My normal state is moderate to mild. I have probably said "I don't care" more than any other saying in my whole life. But when I am not in a total depression things are much much better and I do actually care about a lot of things.

To me, your focus on that part of the response is interesting. You don't seem to have a real passion for med school. I'm assuming you plan to become an MD. I think that takes a lot of passion.
I understand but I wonder about your passion. I'm not questioning or advising... just curious if there may be something that would hold your interest and kindle a passion.

Maybe it is nothing to do with depression. I am like that at the moment where I am back on the trail of trying to loose weight (again) and I just cannot get the motivation to get back into it. The reason I am saying to you that it may not be depression is bacause I work with mostly ladies and they have the same problem as me in regards and they are not depressed, (well most of them anyway!). I do hope that you get your zest back. Best wishes.

No, there's nothing that really holds my interest. I used to get excited about a few different fields, and now I just have no passion for anything. I know a lot of people have this fantasy notion that all people get into medicine because they're just so fascinated with the field and feel they have a calling to be a doctor, but the reality is that tons of people go to med school for other reasons...some because their parents pushed them into it, some because they want the money, some because they want the job security, some because they have no idea what else to do for themselves and figure they might as well since they have the grades to get in...I don't think I'm doing society a disservice if I pursue medicine without an intense passion for it.

I agree that altruism is seldom the motive for becoming a doctor. It won't be a disservice to society. It may be a disservice to yourself.

Maybe. My brain is too messed up to know what would and wouldn't be doing myself a disservice. Pursuing med school might be doing myself a disservice, but not pursuing it might be too. I have no clue.

I can understand doing it for financial and security reasons. My question would be how you would manage all the work of med school, residency, working, and the stress with depression.

Or is that the only symptom you have is a total lack of interest in things.

Maybe you are intellectually bored. You can self learn basically anything just for fun while you become a doctor.

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I've got the same problem, and has been like this for the last few years. It started in my master's degree already, but somehow I still finished it (help from God above is the only explanation I have, because I was literally dead inside). Now I'm doing a PhD and have got absolutely no motivation to do anything. I'm 6 months behind schedule.

Yes...when the depression is gone, the enthusiasm returned for me. When the depression is deep, like it is for me now, there is not any joy that I can find in anything. But a year ago, I was "up" for everyday. For me, it is, and remains to be, an employment issue. Make sure you are doing what you want to do with your life. If you follow someone else's idea for you (as I did because it was supposed to make me financially secure and it has not) you'll end up depressed.

Yes, I would agree. I think that is the mark to tell you that the depression is gone, you are your old self again.

Hello, freefallin. I am unable to properly respond to your question since I have not experienced life after depression. Periods of remission were most welcome. Eradicating all symptoms of depression is in my view a folly.

Even so, the greater folly is to capitulate.

I am inclined to agree. I don't think you'll ever be your original self again. Depression, like any other "attack" on you, or disease or whatever, would leave some kind of permanent scar. Although this sounds very pessimistic, I think it's an unfortunate reality for all of us. Even if you do "come out at the other end", you don't emerge "unscathed". But, I don't think one should necessarily view it as a negative thing. You possess insight and experience nobody else would ever have who have not been through it themselves. There are situations they might face where you would be the only one who would provide the right advice. I think the whole experience makes you wiser in the process. It would seem it makes you less trusting of others and a little more pessimistic, but in today's world that's not necessarily a bad thing anymore, considering that around almost every corner nowadays lurks some schemer or con-artist.

Thank you for sharing your story, I can also relate to this sort of feeling, I have not been excited about much as i've become older with this issue of depression.

I think it takes alot of hard work with a therapist or someone who can put things into rational perspective, and a lot of determination through forcing distractions and well being activities even when it seems impossible.

This has helped me, but still a very long way to go.

Hope this has given support or helped a bit

Wow I am moving back to CT from SC after living here 7+ yrs. 60 yo so lonely so tired everythings going wrong... I will find a psychiatrist & psychologist when I go back up north. I have to be out of this apt in 12 days & have no place to go. My credit score is awful cuz I lay in bed all day & don't pay my bills on time. Ive turned fat & flabby... I used to be so active & fit... I have isolated myself so much, not answering the phone or door. Now I need help packing and have noone to ask. Good job eh? Take prozac again after 25 years of changing meds. I also have ADD and I have Vyvanse for that. It is helping me, but I did this to myself...bla bla bla OK enough Quite a little pity party going on here but I'm truly so sad I just want to cry all the time...