Tips to Counteract Hopelessness/Despair/Overwhelm?

I couldn't come up with the right word for the subject line, but I think people will understand what I mean.

You know how little things can set you off? Something trivial just makes you more unhappy than you really need to be, like forgetting to return a library book? How do you make yourself snap out of doom thinking?

I'm volunteering at a conference in a few days. I have been waiting for an email asking what sessions I want to attend. It never came. Now I realize that I may have misunderstood the first email they sent -- maybe I was supposed to send that information in last week.

So I spent some of last night and this morning upset about this. What if other people have already signed up for all the sessions I want? What if I look greedy by sending them my list if they haven't specifically asked? What if I choose the wrong sessions and the ones I sign up for are boring and then I am trapped in them?

Finally I sent an email asking if I was supposed to send that information in already.

I feel like I spend most of my life dwelling/ruminating instead of taking the appropriate actions. What are some strategies people use to break free from this pattern?

I know that exercise helps, even if I don't do it. Maybe if I just went for a quick walk or did 10 jumping jacks every time it would help?

I try to ask myself 'what is the simple solution?' and 'Am I making this more complicated than it needs to be?' I would just like to get to the point where I am asking those questions sooner...

I am 100% with you on exercise helping. Vigorous and sustained exercise. Try working out for at least 10 minutes. 30 would be even better. Ten jumping jacks probably isn't going to do the trick (but I could be wrong).

I get the suspicion a lot of people write off exercise as a cliche suggestion. I disagree. When I go rock climbing it feels like my brain has been "defragmented" after I'm done. I know it's the very last thing depressed/anxious people feel like doing, but you have to be willing to swim upstream sometimes (or at least to the shore) or the current is just going to carry you down.

Opposite Action

Sometimes I feel ridiculous, because I know exercise helps. I did an experiment last year and found that even if I spent 2.5 hours of a 9 hour work day walking each day, I got more done than if I didn't walk at all!

Defragmented is a good way of putting it. I find that I have focus I didn't have before.

I get very frustrated with myself knowing this and not 'making' myself do it. Logically, yeah, opposite to action all the way. In practice? So hard when I am out of the habit!

Okay, time to get off the PC and get out of the house for a walk.

So this is where CBT helps amongst other things. And perhaps it's easier to do it on here rather than putting it into practice yourself.

You sent an email to an organization which is running a conference and you haven't heard back. You think that your email is being ignored because you misunderstood the directions and/or you think your request was presumptuous. Either way, you think that you did something to cause the radio silence.

But, perhaps the person who received the email didn't see your email amongst all the other emails he or she received because the conference is only a few days away. If this is a conference, there are actually probably only a few people who are doing most of the organizing and maybe this is all volunteer time for them as well. Therefore, maybe the email was overlooked. Maybe that person just didn't get back to you because they feel overwhelmed, but I am almost positive it has nothing to do with the content of your email or when it was sent.

So training yourself to "re-tell the story" in your head is a good way to help stop the ruminating.

I agree with CBT. The more you practice the more you will do it sooner. It becomes habit.

I would suggest meditation. It takes a lot of practice. Very simple concept but hard to do. It is all about staying in the moment and watching your mind ruminate about every little thing. You watch your mind go in all these directions and when you notice it you calmly bring yourself back to the moment by whichever strategy you choose to use. For me it is my breath. The more you do it the more you naturally do it throughout the day.

Thank you, everyone!

Yes, the meditation helps me a lot with focus, but like with the exercise, I am bad about implementing it every day.

You are all right and it is a matter of practice. I just wish I could remember to stop with the worrying and start with the action much sooner than I do. I think I am looking for a magic trick to use that doesn't exist when really I need to just be more consistent about doing what I already know I need to do.

I did hear back from the conference organizer. I didn't misunderstand anything. She's overwhelmed and behind schedule.

I completely agree that exercise helps! However, it is not always possible to go for a run. I find these feelings often come to me at work. I don’t know about others but am not always able to get away from my desk (I find a change of scenery can be helpful) or read/watch something funny (I find humor to be invaluable and have a “Laugh” board on Pinterest for this purpose), so I have found deep breathing to be helpful to calm my mind and put things in perspective.

Part of the trick for me was making exercise something I had fun doing and that was woven into my social life. I suggest, if you can, finding a sport you like to play, etc., and other people to do it with. That way it isn't the same as trying to force yourself to do the dishes.

Hey hvert,

Infact my email clogged up today and deleted my incoming mail so I am having similar worries :/

Perhaps to relieve the anxiety jumping jacks could help as you suggested

When things happen that are out of our control it will inevitably trigger and re figure 'panic', do not worry have you got their contact number, perhaps you could ring them to tell them what has happened and what days you could do and they can resend the form.

Scott385, when I had an office job, I walked every day during my lunch break and eat at my desk afterwards. It made a HUGE difference in my mood and productivity. I'd love to do that again now that I am (theoretically) working from home.

Cynosure, you are right -- making the exercise part of my social life would help. My walking partner moved away last summer and I still haven't found a replacement.

Fembot, I hope you didn't lose any important messages! I just found one today that I thought was spam... and it's two weeks old and a bit late to do anything with now

Hey! I resent my applications this afternoon just incase, I agree vigorous exercise does help reading other posts in this thread