dilemma

I am going through a very complicated phase in my life. Its hard to explain the entire story but my situation is making me miserable and ill. I have tried explaining to my family how,I,feel but they don't really seem to understand. I feel helpless and lost. I am a person of faith but my present situation makes me feel like I am being ungreatfull about life. I have gone down the deep dark dungeons of depression and still no one understood. I am 26. With regards to my decision making they treat me like a child and with regards to marriage they point out that I am growing old. Now after so much arguing, fighting and totally flipping out I have agreed to an arranged marriage though I still have my doubts. I love my family but I,feel that they don't really see the person who I am and I am afraid that I will end up being invisible even in marriage. More like people will see in me what they want to,see and not even try to really understand me... I am so overwhelmed. I have tried taking help of friends and family but the sinking feeling won't go away and I feel I am no longer the dynamic person I was a couple of months ago.

Hi Lost,
I do not know if I understand your issues but it seems people expect you to do something you do not want to. Perhaps that expectation is "normal" in cultures where communities are more important than individuals. But where you live individuality is a big deal. Your being is pushing to emerge, perhaps. I hope you can find some support to develop your self determination and realize your own desires instead of just following other people wishes or cultural mandates. Hope you keep posting here, it is a good place for peer support online.