[growlycat]

I haven't been hospitalized for depression in decades, but there is always the fear that the pain will come back stronger than ever.

I'm not doing well right now, and I'm worried that I am getting depressed again. Doesn't help that my T is on vacation.

How do you know, before feeling suicidal, that things are getting bad and something has to be done? I don't know if I'm worrying for nothing or getting worse.

[Forever hopeful]

I usually need to ask for feedback. I have done that on here just named my day to day symptoms etc. I don't always recognize it till I'm laid
out pretty much non-functionally with plenty of suicidel thought coming and going in my head.

[Hellion]

Well usually I don't realize anything all that drastic needs done, until I am legitimately feeling like acting on suicidal thoughts. Have gone to the psych ward twice because of that concern....hard to do that though because of course I am anxious about a bad psych ward experience or if 911 is called by me or someone else and cops respond what if they don't handle it right...then again I rationalize if I feel so bad I am contemplating suicide, it can't really get much worse even if crap like that did happen.

Though thus far, neither experience was bad over-all....first time was more unpleasant than the first though, just not a great mental health unit...and bad food, but second one was much better.

[freefallin]

I often wonder that. Seems like whenever I think it's gotten really bad, it gets worse so that I look back on where I was three years ago and think, "That's child's play." At the time I thought I was bad off then too, though, so I don't really know how to gauge when it's truly gone too far. I guess it doesn't matter in my case. I've learned that unless I physically harm myself, no one is going to take me seriously if I do ask for help.

[i dont matter]

not sure if I followed your question..... it is when I am falling into that suicidal mode that I know I need help. Unfortunately, that is also when I (and I suppose many others too) least care if I get help.

[SeekerOfLife]

Hi. I do not usually know/realize when things are REALLY bad. About a year ago I was planning on hurting myself (as a form of escape, not suicide). I had it all planned out. But just did not see the seriousness of it. Try not to isolate yourself. Stay in close contact with someone who cares.

[IrisBloom]

I'm not glad any of you are suffering, but I am glad to find someone who felt the same way I have. I'm a 56 year old woman and have been treated for depression for 25 years, and I still don't see the signs! Am I a slow learner or what? It creeps up on you slowly sometimes, and I think it is natural to accept it as normal as long as you can still function.

Growly Cat, remember if you get in a bad way you can go to the hospital or call 911. Please don't let it get too bad.

[Silent Void]

Well, when you don't bathe is a big one.

[regretful]

Tears that I can't manage are a good sign for me, as is not exercising, being hungry but not eating, and sleeping yet still feeling tired upon awakening...

[bronzeowl]

I think everyone's answer will be different.

In fact, I bathe more when I'm about to get really bad. Because it's literally all I want to do - even though it doesn't help, I always hope it does.

It can range from when you stop grooming yourself, to when you lose your appetite entirely, to sleeping all the time. Generally, when I'm worried that I'm getting bad, I am getting bad. However, everyone suffers depression differently.

My earliest warning sign is not moving at all. Just lying in one spot for hours and hours, without even twitching. Following that will be apathy, loss of interest in doing anything (even getting out of my room), and excessive bathing while ignoring the rest of my life. Basically, total isolation. When I isolate from my dog, that's when I know the suicidal thoughts are coming.

[Silent Void]

That must be terrible for the dog. I can't imagine isolating from a pet. They are such dear things.

[Scottishmist]

My mood shifts and I completely lose interest in all my hobbies, and in general daily life becomes such a huge effort. When I wake up in the morning all I want to do is go back to sleep. Other things follow but, the first signal for me that depression is showing it's ugly face again is that I awake in the middle of the night... around 4am, when that happens repeatedly I know I'm in trouble. I cry a lot too.

Also, I ask my husband to get feed back from him which is a big help.