[jacq10]

but they aren't I dont know whats wrong with me. I have been feeling suprisingly better this past week and thought that maybe, just MAYBE i might be getting better. But as it seems, i'm not. It just kind of came back all of a sudden and i found myself trying to break apart my razor so i could get at the blades ... fortunately i ended up getting more upset when i couldn't so i didn't do any damage physically.

Is it possible that me being happy made me more depressed? I had such a good night last night, my section all went skating (i haven't skated in such a long time for me - former hockey player ) so that was good, and i'd been taking more "me" time playing the piano ... but then all of a sudden its almost as though i feel guilty for feeling that way? I dont make any sense ...

I have my first appointment with my new T on Thursday and am really anxious about that, so maybe i'm just getting the better part of myslef

I'm sorry ... im ranting, i'll stop now.

[Fuzzybear]

I think I understand

Good luck with your new T!!

((((((((((((((( jacq ))))))))))))))))

[jacq10]

thanks fuzzy

((((((((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

[bipolar_bear]

((((((((((((((((((jacq))))))))))))))))))))))) I hope things go well with your T on Thursday.

[Christina86]

Hi ((((((((((((Jacq)))))))))))))

Sorry I've not been around. I've noticed that I can have a really good day and then I crash ... KABOOM. (Is it like that for you?)

Good luck at T, and I'll be around if you want to talk.

take care of yourself

[sunrise]

I also sometimes get guilty if I'm feeling good. I also experience crashes. I can feel them coming on from a mile away and do everything I can to avoid them. I just try to roll with the punches and get out of the "guilty" mindset. I do deserve to feel good and don't need to feel guilty about it (repeat 1000 times).

jacq, best of luck with your new T! How exciting! How nervewracking! Let us know how it goes.



sunny

[jacq10]

Thank you all so much for your responses and hugs .. they really do mean alot to me.

((((((((((((((Christina)))))))))))))
((((((((((((((((fayerody))))))))))))))
(((((((((((((((sunrise)))))))))))))))

You guys are awesome.

PS i'm SOOOO nervous about my T!

[blueman]

Hi jacq,

I'm sorry that things have taken a downturn for you and hope that it will pass. I joined yesterday as I was having a similar problem. Your story rang true to me. In that way, you have helped me. I know now that I'm not alone. That's comforting to me and while on the one hand I am sorry that you are having a rough time right now, I am thankful that you posted. It certainly helped me.

[jacq10]

Hi Blueman, (((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))
Thank YOU for your response. It makes me feel better knowing that i was able to help you in some small way.

And i'm SO sorry bipolar_bear, i just realized that i somehow didn't inclue you in my post above ... brain fart if you will. But thank you for your response too.
*BIG* hugs.

[Fuzzybear]

Hey jacq, I just want to say your posts always help me (for one thing, you have a gift for expressing which I sometimes (being kind to me there ) don't and I often relate to your posts ...) I'm just a PM away if you ever want/need to talk (((((((((((((((( jacq ))))))))))))))))

[jacq10]

Aww thanks (((((((((((((((((Fuzzy))))))))))))))
You know i'm here for you too ...