people being cruel

Clara22 · Sep 02, 2014, 06:03 AM

Hi,
I am not sure it is just about reasoning. In my case, it is a about values, which imply both, intellectual consideration and affection. It is related to education and self- education, early and late influences. My late influence was heroes from the American Disability Movement including the great Justin Dart. Those people taught me about human dignity and you cannot be just the same once they produced an impact on you. There are other influences, such as my father and some of his cousins. They injected the pride of being a worker in me. The cousins were Communists and were made illegally prisoners and tortured by the military here. One of them is a desaparecido. Another one died early this year. I could see what repetitive torture did to him. When I was a kid people around me, including teachers and neighbors, had ideals. People put their own interest in second place and there was more happiness because there was meaning. This is something you cannot take out of your mind even when you feel you are the fattest or the ugliest in the room.

flours · Sep 02, 2014, 05:15 PM

yeah, I think the environment is very important. I also noticed that my mood becomes a lot more stable when I am on the countryside. it's not only because of the beautiful landscape but people think and live slightly differently. I think I spend a lot of time in a pretty much toxic environment. where there is lots of judgement and competition.

it's hard to be home sit on the sofa and be proud of what I have accomplished because I know from outside that it is never enough. so this part of life everybody needs to feel good is basically taken away. and I feel never good enough. because there are so insane standards. of course it is my own problem that I cannot deal with it. I wish I had a group of people I belong to and can identify with. but losing that is a part of my crisis.

my therapy seems to be going slowly. I wonder what I can do to make myself feel less pessimistic about myself. so I know what kind of thoughts drive me mad. but what happens next?

Clara22 · Sep 02, 2014, 05:26 PM

You are totally right. Countryside is much better in many regards

icinggurl · Sep 03, 2014, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chocolate rose

This is my first time on the site and I'm on my phone and using the speak to type so I hope it works OK. Please pardon any poor typing because of this. My mom said similar things to me growing up. She wanted me to be in a beauty pageant and was disappointed because I refused. She took one of my evening gowns from a prom and gave it to someone who was in a beauty pageant and made the comment that at least my dress was able to be in a beauty pageant even if I couldn't. I was repeatedly told she wished I was like this other person who was in the pageant. I later realized my mother was jealous of me because my friends would ask me how come when you get something new she always has to go out and buy one that's nicer. This was when I was an adult. I have never been beautiful. And and for several years I kept waiting for that to happen but it never did. I have been able to find things I do like about me like my eyes etc. So I hope you can find something that you like about yourself too. Because we are all beautiful in our own way. We are all unique and beauty is different to everyone so to me it makes no sense call one person beautiful and another not. I finally decided that if we were all alike it would be a horrible world. All of my life I have never been good enough in any way shape or form, for my exhusband or my family and even some people who are so called friends. There are bullies everywhere out there. I have had abuse in my life from the day I was conceived because my mom kept trying to get rid of me and did not want to have a child. I seem to attract bullies
and abusers. I believe I have been depressed all my life, but it seems to be affecting me a lot more now. I am alone, getting older and living with chronic pain and unable to work from an accident. I am thankful to find this group and know that I'm not the only one out there going through things. Right now I can barely get out of bed. And I have gotten so far behind on cleaning my house and watering and mowing my yard I don't know where to begin cuz I really need some help but I can't afford it. So I have just given up and let everything go. thank you for sharing so I'm no I'm not alone. hugs to you

Welcome to the site

I've heard many stories where the mother is jealous of the daughter. I think that kind of thing appears pathetic and shallow to most people. It disgusts me to see that.

stuckinaglassbox · Sep 04, 2014, 02:09 AM

I have a mother like yours. I'm 30 now, but she knows all of my tender bits and I think she sometimes gets pleasure out of hurting me, because she is not happy in herself. It took me moving to a different country on my own to finally get some distance from my mother's destructive voice in my head. You can be whoever you want to be. Your mother is the one that is wrong. You have sought help for your depression and you are getting treatment, which means you are taking control of your life and taking steps to build your future, your mother has the choice to be a part of that future or not and you have the choice of whether you want her to be a part of that future or not. All the best.

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people being cruel

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