it's been 5 years

i can't deal with my depression anymore.
i hate being depressed.
it's humiliating.
i'm lonely, worthless and i hate myself.
i sit at home all day doing nothing.
i've dropped out of college twice.
i can't do anything.
so yeah.

I'm expressing my empathy for your situation. I've been dealing with depression off and on since about 2009. Lately, actually for the past year, it's been more "on". Though I've completed my education, I don't have a job doing what I like; I help out in a family business, but feel I'm more of a detriment to it than an asset.

Others have told me that the humiliating, worthless, and self-hatred feelings are the result of depression. I try diligently to remember that; when depression is here, like it is now, it's hard to remember that these are just thoughts.

I hope that you can find some relief and that this (again as I have been told) is like all other things and will pass...

It is a very debilitating disease.

Are you receiving any sort of treatment for it?

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i am, i see a therapist 1ce a week. it's not enough. i've almost been hospitalized 4 times in the last 3 months...

I have to ask about meds too but I imagine you are taking them. If not I am not trying to push them.

I know how frustrating it is to be doing all the things they say to do yet still suffer.

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i'm getting off effexor after 3 years because its done nothing for me and switching to welbutrin.

I hope that the medication switch provides you with some relief. I have a friend who tells me, quite often, that wellbutrin saved his life.

I'm sorry you're going through a hard time. Hopefully the new Wellbutrin will help you more than the Effexor did.

so far the wellbutrin has made me slow. I'm moving and thinking much slower than normal.

How fast are you going off of the Effexor? Wellbutrin is in a different class. Effexor is known to have bad withdrawal effects for many people. Not for me but that does not mean anything. You could be having withdrawal effects from Effexor and need to go off of it very very slowly even while you are taking the Wellbutrin. Alot of docs do not follow this.

Depression is hell but i see you have BPD too... It must be very hard for you. Can you see your therapist twice a week? That helps me a lot. You would be surprised.

i'm titrating off by 37.5mg a week.