[oceansoftime]

I've been able to read every message that comes in and out of my husband's Facebook for the last 7 yrs. He has hit on his friends, my friends, anyone really.

My depression has gotten worse the last 2 yrs. I haven't gotten treatment because it takes 6-8 mths for affordable care. And I just never go.

He hasn't flirted with anyone for awhile but he tried with his friend's sister this weekend. He calls her beautiful, sexy, etc. She just thanks him.

I used to be angry, now I just don't care. I just wish someone would go along with him. How sad is that, that I don't really care anymore if he cheats on me. There is absolutely no proof via Facebook or email that he has cheated. I know all the proof is in his cell phone which he keeps locked.

I just wanted to vent. We have been together 19 yrs.

[Alone & confused]

You're a better person than I am!! I would unleash nine kinds of Hell on my man for that! I'm sorry for what you're going through! I hope you know that you deserve more respect than that! This is HIS flaw and in NO WAY is this a reflection of how you should be treated! I wish you all the best!

[Frankbtl]

Hi oceansoftime, I second you absolutely don't deserve to be treated like that. And with depression there can be an apathy, powerlessness, disinterest, or just no energy to fight or even care so your reaction is completely understandable. But do you think his behavior has contributed to the depression........although if not I'm sure it hasn't helped, right?
So all about you now, hey?? And what's going to help you.
Just some thoughts.........does he really understand your depression, or might he be thinking that deep down you're not interested in him?? Now that absolutely wouldn't excuse his behavior, but if you think it might help trying to have a "heart to heart" including sharing some of what you're feeling and see if there's a way forward???
Or maybe marriage counselling could help??
Then you might want to get some space from him to concentrate on yourself and getting some help, without this "dragging you further down"??
And I really want to say a lot of space, as in showing him the door, but it's all about what's best for you..........just keep it in mind as a real option, hey??
And help for you...........you really need to put yourself first.........do you think you could "fast track" getting treatment, or "shop around" for more affordable options??
In some areas, you could access different/cheaper medications, and some therapists offer a sliding scale of charges depending on your income if that may be an option for you??
And if the motivation to get that help isn't there then just know that you do deserve it, and that things can get better.
And you know, in any way we can help, we're here for you too.
Alison

[Notoriousglo]

Wow, sweetie. I went to the same place you are, I think...or something similar. After a guy cheating on me repeatedly and with many, many women...I didn't know how to let the relationship go without facing a severe depression, so I stayed but decided I would be happy despite the cheating. So I just forgot about it and moved on. It worked out, because after a year I lost all feelings and was able to cut the ties myself mostly. I'm glad for that. However, now that I'm in another relationship, I try to use this method to help with problems...lol and I don't know if it's such a good one. But yeah, I'm glad I'm not in a relationship where the guy cheats & I feel utter compassion for you and wish I could give you a hug and let you know how I don't want you to be unhappy about your self-worth. It's much more than you probably think right now!

[lilypup]

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Hopefully, karma will come around and bite his ***!

[oceansoftime]

I've been really sick this week so I will reply when my head isn't so swimmy from cold meds.

Here is a little snippet taken today...

I'm sorry that this is happening to you. I've been where you are and it is probably best to just focus on your health until you can rid yourself of this man who does not deserve you.

[Fuzzybear]

[oceansoftime]

This cold has really knocked me on my butt, my head is so swimmy...

She sent him a message this morning telling him not to come over to colour her hair. So now I guess he has offered to colour her hair.

He has always colored my hair, I used to be a hairstylist so I taught him to do mine.

But this is unacceptable. It's not right and doesn't she have a girlfriend that could do it for her?!!!!