I FEEL AS THOUGH I'M SLIPPING DOWN TO WHERE I WAS ON FRIDAY. I LOST IT COMPLETELY, BUT I WAS REFERRED BY MY DOCTOR TO SEE AN EMERGENCY MENTAL HEALTH PERSON THIS WEEK, WHO WILL THEN FWD ME ONTO A PDOC VSOON. I WAS TOLD 2 WEEKS AGO BY ANOTHER DOCTOR THAT I WOULD HAVE TO WAIT 2 YEARS!!!!! SO I FEEL BETTER THT I "LOST IT" IN A WAY BECAUSE IT GOT RESULTS, I GOT SLEEPING TABS TO LAST ME THE WEEKENDAND I SHOULD BE FEELING GREAT YEAH? NO.
2 OF MY BEST FRIENDS CAME ROUND YESTERDAY, BROUGHT ME FLOWERS AND STAYED TO CHEER ME UP, WHICH THEY DID. PERSUADED ME TO GO OUT AND PLAY CARDS - WHICH I DID. HAD FEW GLASSES OF WINE, SO I DIDN'T TAKE SLEEPING PILL. UP TIL 6 ON CHAT, MADE MYSELF FEEL WORSE. I SUPPOSE YOU COULD SAY SELF INFLICTED, JUST WANTED TO GET OUT OF HOUSE, WHICH I'VE BEEN FINDING IT HARD TO DO AT TIMES.

I'M NOT USED TO THIS UP/DOWN THING. USUALLY I'M DOWN. OR LEVEL. BEEN EXPERIENCING MASSIVE HIGHS, FOLLOWED BY REALLY BAD LOWS.
I SHOULD HAVE TRIED TO SLEEP WHEN I CAMEHOME, BUT I KNOW I'D JUSTLIE THERE STIFFAS A BOARD, NOT RELAXED AND WANTING TO TALK ON HERE WHERE I FEEL UNDERSTOOD AND SAFE. I'VE WANTED TO SEE A PROPER PDOC FOR SO LONG, NOW I'M SCARED BECAUSE I HAVE TO OPEN UP MY HEART RIGHT FRM WHERE IT FIRST BROKE ALL THOSE YEARS AGO. THERE ARE ACOUPLE OF STITCHES IN IT WHERE I HAVE TRIED TO MEND IT BEFORE, SOME RECENTLY TO A FRIEND,BUT TO SAY IT FACE TO FACE AGAIN - WELL, THT'S DAUNTING. I FEEL SELFISH AND GUILTY FOR FEELING LIKE THIS WHEN I SHOULD BE GLAD.

JUST HAD TO WRITE, WAS ON MY MIND. WRITING THINGS DOWN HELP ME.

JINNYANN

[cajun]

Jinn, Alcohol is a depressant. You don't need it right now. ....and get some sleep. You will feel better after pdoc visit. I'll take care of the kids for a bit. (((((jin)))))

[sabby]

((((((((((jinnyann))))))))))

THANKYOU....

MUST BE FEELING INSECURE....DIDN'T THINK ANYONE WOULD REPLY...HOW COULD I HAVE DOUBTED YOU.......
((((((((SAB,CAJ)))))))))))JINXXXXXXX

[Fuzzybear]

((((((((((((((((( jinnyann )))))))))))))))))

((((((((((((FUZZY)))))))))))

[heyjoe]

I know how you feel I cant sleep myself.......it makes everything seem worse whenyou are so tired.....you are doing what you can , if you slip sometimes youcan only dust yourself off and keep going...we cant change what s done.....keep talking to people you feel comfortable with....good luck

[BlueFaith]

((( jinnyann )))
I'm sorry you are having such a rough time. I hope you feel better soon.

thankyou everyone for replying and making me feel better.

i must apologise for using large font before, it wasn't intentional, i just find it easier to read when i'm writing.iwasn't shouting. some people on here don't like it and i've been warned, so , really sorryxxxxxxxx

thanks again for your words of support

jinnyann

[Talulah]

Don't be afraid to see a pdoc. Talk about your symptoms like the ups and downs, the sleeplessness etc. They'll help get ya leveled out, then you can worry about the emotions and hard stuff....
Get those symptoms under control and you'll feel stronger to face the challenges.

I'm so sorry for your distress!!!! Take those sleeping tabs and rest your self, your body and mind. You may feel better and confident to meet the new doc.

Jinny, so many people here care about what happens to you! I can tell. Will you let us know how the visit goes?

((((jinny))))

Feel better soon jinny

thankyou tallulah,

just knowing people are kind enough to reply and say such heart warming words makes me feel better. where would i be without you all?

i hope you are ok too. take care, my love x1000 xxxx

jinnyann xx

i care......................

[samm]

i just wrote you tea not wine,the rainbow of wellness is calling you.just take it one day at a time. like me,i sould see someone about just not dealing with things in the right frame of mind but the loss is hard.when you are alone and the rest of the family is distance. stay well the rainbow is for you to hang in there.samm

samm, fayerodyi love you both so much. you've both been so good and kind tome and your words mean a lot.

thankyou(((((((hugs)))))))